Small Acts of Kindness

All body parts are functioning as normal, or pretty much as normal as they will ever be again. There are new limitations to live with, but it is what it is. Time to refocus on justifying my existence. So I'm looking for service opportunities.

Be careful what you ask for!

Large and small in the last two weeks all I have to do is stand still for a few moments and "things" present themselves. Which is good, but:

That quick craft project? Six hours later I had it done. Cute, but having bad thoughts about glue guns. Still it was one less thing my very busy friend had to worry about. Made me happy to know I'd lifted a small burden.

Teach what? Ohhh, so not my favorite. I flat said no. She thought I was kidding. Sigh. It won't kill me.

Dinner for how many? Got it covered.

You did what to that computer? And I'm supposed to fix it how? This is gonna take a while.

They are where? Who has them & why? Huh? Okay. Okay. I'll take care of it. Yes. I know. You're welcome.

Twilight? Again. Seriously? Ummm. You know I love you when I stay up until 1:30 in the morning for a girl's night out to see a show I loath, am not really interesting in.

Your teenager needs a place to camp for four days? Sure.

Do I look like your mother? Never mind. Where are you? I'll be right there.

But the best was my pregnant neighbor who was due last Sunday. She called because all her friends who said they'd watch her 3 year old son took off for the weekend and she needed someone to watch Ben until her mother could get here when she went into labor. (Mom lives ~ 100 miles away.) Sure!

I thought about it and called back. "Okay, so you have his favorite snacks/toys, schedule etc. written out /where I can find it to help ease the transition of having a "strange" person coming over to take care of him, yes?"

"Oh, I'll get that taken care of," she said.

The weekend passes. No baby. But last night her husband calls. "Can you take Ben for a while?"

"Oh, sure. What time do you want me over there?"

"How about I just drop him at your house until Grandma gets here?"

So in a little while Mr. Ben is handed in the door with one diaper and dad is gone.

Fortunately I realized that being dropped at the neighbor ladies' place, who he only sees occasionally waving at him from the front yard, might be a bit traumatic so I had Will put on an animated Disney show, we turned up all the lights so it was nice and bright, pulled out a furry, snugly blanket, spread the Lego's out on the floor and strategically placed Spiderman fruit snacks on the table right in front of the TV. When dad set him on the sofa & I placed an open pack of yummies in his hand he was sufficiently distracted so dad could slip out the door.

The kid was totally calm and sweet. Will built him little Lego cars. Ben was perfectly content. He had toys in one hand, snacks in the other and between making putt putt noises for the cars and neighs for the toy horse, he kept an eye on the TV and watched lively segments of the DVD. 

Happy child. Success!

When Grandma showed up, I went to answer the door. My little shadow followed. I said "hi" and turned to pick up Ben's coat. "Time to go, cutie!"

Brakes. REALLY GOOD BRAKES.

He marches quickly into the living room, climbs into the rocking chair, braces his feet, and YELLS, "No! NO! NO!"

New game plan.

I look at grandma. "So, why don't you have a seat, and we'll chat?" :)

We make casual conversation and after a couple of minutes I get up and get a couple more packages of fruit snacks and hand them off.

"Oh, look Ben. Grandma has more Spiderman treats for you!" He calmly looks at her. Then looks away. We chat a bit more, then I pick up the coat again. "Let me help you put on your coat guy!"

I get the look.

Then he holds out one arm, then the other...

He, Grandma & the fruit snacks disappear into the night.

It's good to be useful.

Civility

Another month of this nonsense.

Political debates, elections... the parties clash. The issues polarize the populace. Taxes, women's rights, gay marriage...

There's a lot of my way or the highway going on.

Wow.

I'm seeing things I don't like. HOWEVER, for every belief I hold dear there is someone on the other side. But we seem to be forgetting that our right to swing our fist ends at the other guy's nose. I may bitch about it here but I try to hold my tongue in public because 'they' have their agency. I don't get to tell them what to do. I will share my beliefs but sometimes we end up agreeing to disagree and I go to my corner while they...hmmm, well, unfortunately I've noticed they tend to try to sit on top of me.

That's when I start to get a little frisky.

Get off.

I can't make you accept my definition of marriage. But why do you get to change and define the standard  that has stood for thousands of years?

I can't stop you from having an abortion. But if a cell is dividing and growing, if it has a beating heart, it is by definition, a living thing. Except in the case of rape/ incest, you had the ability to keep that egg from being fertilized. THAT was your choice. Why do you get to take away the choice of an unborn child and kill him? His body - not yours.

I can't stop you from printing every form & notice in several languages. BUT, my grandparent's ALL learned English when they came to this country. A common, spoken language unifies people. Why are you "special?"

I can't...yes, the list goes on.

Mostly, I'd like to see people being responsible for themselves. Everyone could use a hand now and then but if you constantly expect hand outs I'm not sure that I got the memo that said I was responsible for providing them.

I feel like I'm standing here, just trying to hold on to my little patch of  grass. So we call a vote, but if I and like minded people vote and pass a rule or win an election we end up getting shoved up against the wall and threatened until they get what they want... it's never finished until the liberal/radical element prevails. This, of course, is the same liberal faction that fights the idea of presenting valid voter id. Washington State had a governor's race a few years back that a conservative won...by a narrow margin, but he won. So, a recount was called for. He won again...by a narrower margin. Soooooo, they recounted again until the liberal candidate won by the narrowest of margins. The results then stood. It seems a few dogs and dead people had to vote to get those results.       ????

Now, I'm not necessarily a Sarah Palin fan but when Obama first campaigned for President he was young and relatively inexperienced in the political arena. He became the Great Black Hope. Sarah Palin, too, was young and relatively inexperienced but running as theVice Presidential candidate she was virtually crucified for the same traits that Obama had.  ????

Next, (this one is old, but one of my personal favorites...) if you use the word niggardly in a sentence you are a racist.  ????

Also if you have several guys standing together, all with black hair, brown eyes and dark complexions and you identify one as "black," covering anyone of African descent, as opposed to the Oriental, Italian/Middle Eastern Type or Hispanic he's standing by, you are likely to be labeled racist. (Seriously, happened.) Sigh.

I'm not only wondering what happened to civility, but common sense, integrity, morality...

And it looks like I might have to keep wondering.

Speaking In Tongues

Read the book Mount Dragon by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child. It's billed as a "genetic research thriller."

I've enjoyed their books - they move right along, and are interesting...The passage that caught my attention this time was between the "good" guy Charles Levine & the "bad" guy, ex-friend/power broker, Brent Scopes. They're about to die...

Scopes poses the question: "Do you believe in life after death?"

Levine shook his head, "In Judaism, we believe it's what we do in this life that matters. We achieve immortality through living a righteous life, and worshipping God. The children we leave behind are our immortality."

Scopes points out, "But you have no children, Charles"

"I had always hoped to. I've tried to do good in other ways, not always with success."

Scopes was silent. "I used to despise people who needed to believe in an afterlife," he went on at last. "I thought it was a weakness. Now that the moment of reckoning is here, I wish I had spent more time convincing myself." He looked down. "It would be nice to have some hope."

Hmmm, yes.

I'm totally on board with the idea my children are my "gift" to the world. I expect them to meet and exceed my contributions to society, but I'm pretty sure that my actual salvation/immortality (or place therein) is up to me. For better or worse I think I will be judged for my own actions and, well, I agree it is nice to have hope.

Meanwhile, I've had a couple of interesting conversations recently. That "God thing" kept popping up this summer. Seems there is a trend towards rejecting organized religion. These folks aren't saying they don't believe in God, they just don't want SOMEONE telling them what to believe about God.

Okay. I understand that. But whether you're a Christian, Jew, Muslim, or....just about everyone has a book of instructions. Who decides exactly what those instructions are saying? We go to our different churches & synagogues, mosques, to be taught what these books mean...(defense exhibit #1: Isaiah?  Or how about Leviticus?) I'm not dumb but I'm willing to listen to other's interpretations!

Keep in mind that the people I was talking to came from Christian backgrounds, but they were basically saying they were "rejecting" Christianity in favor of an all seeing God who encompassed all the earth. Well, to an extent, I could agree with that. I do believe there is one God. I just think people have developed different concepts of who He actually is.

I listened carefully as a person explained that she fell under no particular denomination or sect - while she described me as a hard core (?) Mormon, (and she had no problem with that, some of her best friends had been Mormon) she was simply "spiritual." She felt that we, as citizens of the world, had a duty to one another to help each other out. I agreed and said, "We call that...service." Then she said we should impart a portion of our worldly goods to help those less fortunate. "Umhmm...we call that...tithing/fast offering." Continuing on she explained that we have the power to communicate with God. "Yes, I said, we call that...prayer." Finally she spoke about being able to learn to understand the mind of God and receive inspiration from him. "Ah yes, we call that... revelation." I continued... "You know, this is kinda cool. We actually seem to have a lot of common ground!"

She changed the subject.

I thought we were speaking the same language...but, maybe not. Can always hope though, right?

Orson Scott Card - Hypocrite

Interesting stuff by Orson Scott Card in his Alvin Maker series.

Part of conversation between Alvin's troublesome younger brother Calvin Miller, and a character called Taleswapper, a wandering story teller who teaches using tales (parables.) It starts with Calvin berating Taleswapper:

Calvin: "You're just a hypocrite... "

Taleswapper: "A hypocrite?"

Calvin: "Pretending to be what you're not. So other people will trust you , but they're trusting in a bunch of pretenses."

Taleswapper: "That's an interesting idea, there, Calvin. Where do you draw the line between a humble man who knows his own weaknesses but tries to act out virtues he hasn't quite mastered yet, and a proud man who pretends to have those virtues without the slightest intention of acquiring them?"

Taleswapper continued, "So, everyone is a hypocrite except Calvin Miller?  Well, now it sems to be unanimous,we're all prentending to be something that we're not."

Hmm, something to think about for a spell, eh?

Got A Visual On That!

The Youngest comes home, looks me straight in the eye and says, "Mom, I've just seen the world's ugliest woman."

He gets 'the look' and an immediate rebuke for being unkind.

"No, seriously, Mom. This was the female version of Brother -----."

"Oh?"

(Let's understand that the man is somewhat robust, has a florid complexion, with unrefined features and ahhh, a lantern jaw.  Sweet soul, but not much to look at...)

"Yeah, with really long, scraggly, hair."

"Oh. Well, ummm...looks aren't everything boy."

"Mom, you're just not understanding. Brother ----- with makeup, long hair, and... breasts!"

"Ohhhhh..."



And sometimes - well, sometimes you just have to give it up and save the teaching moments for later.

I look at his earnest face, he looks at me...

We can't stop laughing for quite a while.

RE: Make My Day...

'Scuse Me...gotta go find my gun. ;)

Another Rant

So, the facebook post went:

I may be turning into a fussy old woman, but hey...next time you wear the REALLY short, short cutoff jeans to the grocery store, (even if you wear beige spankies or was that your boy cut panties?) please don't bend over like that. :(

And one of the comments went:

... fussy old lady would be the old lady who lays into her in public...and i would have paid to see that (you laying into her, not the scene you described)

My, tongue in cheek, response was:

Nate - I just don't understand how you think anyone as sweet as me would cause a public scene. ;)

 

I'm left thinking this situation is somewhat of a conundrum. We used to wear rather disreputable, cut off blue jeans to the swimming hole when I was a kid...mostly because we didn't have money for 'real' swimming suits, plus, the jeans were short because you don't want a lot of material dragging you down and drowning you while you're just trying to have a little fun and cool off, right? Now, even when girls wear their skimpy bikini's they're usually fairly snug and body parts are "contained." Plus, it is the beach/swimming pool and you're kind of ready for what may be lounging about.

Same thing with sports wear...umm, bicycle shorts? Not a lot left to the imagination but at least everything is tucked in. Wrestling singlets?  Bwahaha...

I don't even have a problem with nudist colonies. Everyone there, at the resort, is (I assume) on the same page, so, no surprises there.

End analysis? I don't like being flashed in public. While it's embarrassing to mention to someone that "your fly is down," I view it as a kindness if someone squeaks up. But, for all the plunging necklines that leave little to the imagination, exposed midriffs that are threatening to disclose pubic hair, and pants that just no way, no how, cover the subject...

Seriously. What do you say? They know what they looked like when they left the house. They dressed that way expressly to attract attention. If some "old lady" kicks up a fuss about it, it's just a no win situation. Because if you try to discretely mention that they are, ahem, exposed, they will be offended and insinuate that you're a pervert for looking. Delicately raise an eyebrow in their direction and you'll hear a muttered, "bitch." If you publicly take them to task for inappropriate wear... Hey! you've just validated their need for attention & they're on top of the world - still probably won't keep them from dropping the f bomb and causing a scene but....

And last week? At the convenience store, a 13/14? year old boy hopped out of the back seat of his car. Stood right by the front door (between my vehicle and his) with his father inside the car.  Yes folks, dad was right there. Raised his shirt and adjusted his jeans, which were at least 3 sizes too big, DOWNWARD. The waist band curved under his buttocks, and the front, rested on top of (how to express this delicately)...his little mound? He vigorously cinched his belt, tightening it to hold the whole show in place.

Oh my.

Doesn't that HURT??

I got out. Walked into the store.

I. Did. Not. Say. A. Word.