Me Thinks Thou Dost Protest Too Much

Some things just are....

What you see is what you get...

Familiar sayings. But still, feel free to discuss stuff. It seldom hurts to kick the tires, turn things around and look at them from another angle. That old thing about "an unexamined life..." y'know? You have my permission. I know you were waiting for that!

HOWEVER, sometimes a pile of sheet is still a pile of sheet. Doesn't matter if you send it to a lab for analysis, it is what it is. Disclaimer: I know people can compost it ... as a matter of fact Farm Boy works on a process to turn it into methane. (But a rather involved, messy & expensive procedure that your average person doesn't have access to.)

So - while I don't want to intrude on your reality, and if you want to vent, please, be my guest...and sometimes it helps to just laugh about the things/people we can not change, but the saccharin massage? The "if I deny reality long enuf,"  maybe it will go away? Spare me. Please.

I wholly encourage the power of positive thinking, but it's easier to change your life if you step out of fairy tale land. Mayhaps the following advise:




Capeesh?

He's Heavy & He Ain't My Brother

I attended a small, rural high school. There were 24 kids in my graduating class. Traditionally we elected a senior as ASB president, but in our class there weren't a lot of people interested in the job. The one guy who ran had a campaign manager who decided Randy's slogan would be... "He ain't much, but he's all we got."

It was kinda funny - then.

I keep telling my kids that the world is their oyster. And that now, in their youth, is the time to educate themselves, explore and expand their horizons. As time marches on people make decisions that can refine or limit their options. Education or lack thereof, marriage, children, career choices, buying a home/real estate can all limit our mobility and affect our ability to take advantage of new opportunities. Not that growing up & becoming responsible is a bad thing but the weight of our life can either lend us stability or drag us down.

Still, we do have options. Exercising them can have consequences. We, of course, want to look at all angles. But no matter what your age, 18 or 58, it still seems a sad commentary when your choice ends up being...."He ain't much, but he's all we/I got."

I'm left hoping, with all my heart, that will be enough.

Charcoal, Anyone?

Pancakes were on the menu for breakfast.

As I was waiting for one to develop enuf bubbles to flip, Farm Boy leaned over my shoulder and whispered..."watched pancakes never cook."

????

Well, I don't know about that, but I do know UNwatched pancakes certainly can and will burn.

Ya know, I'm getting the distinct feeling that Farm Boy's cooking days are thru - or at least his grilling days. He used to delight in a perfectly cooked, juicy top sirloin. Now, be it chicken, steak or even zucchini. It ain't done until the fat lady sings, or errrr...until at least one side is blackened into inedibility.

Might have something to do with his ability to throw the food on the BBQ and then retreat to his chair and become glued to the TV until someone starts screaming... FIRE!!!

Miss Manners

There is a house that has been converted to office space.

I'm always a little puzzled - does one just walk in like you would a normal business office or stop at the front door and knock? When needing a signature from them I've opted for knocking and it seems to work as they always come promptly and answer my inquiries.

Best to err on the side of caution, yes?

Keeping that in mind...

I go into a convenience store yesterday. I need the wash room and inquire if I might use it. The clerk smiles, nods & waves her hand toward the back of the store. The door to the men's and women's rooms are both open. I can see that each is a single seater with no 'stalls'. I enter the women's, close the door and lock it.

So far, so good. However, I have tried to lock doors before only to find that they spring open when the knob is turned from the outside. And frankly, there are few things as uncomfortable as having yer britches down around your ankles when a door pops open leaving you and your disheveled self on view to the world.

Never happened to you? Well, just wait. You live long enough and go to the bathroom often enough and it'll happen sooner or later, a time or two or three.

As I sit down I eye the lock with skepticism, but really, I have other matters to attend to ...

Not more than a minute later I hear footsteps and a body collides with the door as the knob is turned.

The lock holds and I let out the breath I was unaware I was holding and sang out...."occupied".

There are no retreating footsteps and not 10 seconds later another person approaches and vigorously works the door knob.

Again... "occupied!"

Okay ladies...Lets review the facts.

There is another bathroom directly across the hall (marked MENS) that has the door WIDE open. One can not miss it. There is one toilet. Chances are the room you are trying to enter is the same design. So if the door is closed there may be someone in there.

Next I'm sure woman #2 was not personally acquainted with woman #1. Unless you're someplace where there are a lot of creepers, if another woman is standing in front of the women's restroom and not going in? Once again, it could be a clue that it is in use. Trying to wrench the door off of its frame is just brutish.

Finally, I must say, in my defense, that I was tending to matters as quickly as possible. Bad form to camp in the water closet, eh old chap?

But what I really want to know is: what ever happened to the nicety of knocking before one tries to barge thru a closed door?
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Facebook

A friend of mine was worried about a grandchild. At first blush that concern appears to be justified. Kid has a lot of people who care about him but he's pretty consistent about getting into trouble whenever the opportunity presents itself.

She asked about Facebook. Being in her 70's, it is not something she's familiar with. She wanted me to explain it to her.

Well...

How do you define "social networking?"  So I tell her, in it's best form it's kinda like a big bulletin board where you can post pictures of your latest trip, your new haircut, or snap shots of the weekend when your good friends came and visited. A place to post information about an upcoming meeting, event or service project so your buddies can be informed and join you. Kinda like a big get together and being part of the crowd in the kitchen getting the hot scoop! When used appropriately it can save a lot of time over making individual calls on the phone and just be a nice/fun exchange of information.

But we all have different ideas of what appropriate entails. And that's where it starts to fall apart. Even when people put their profiles on private, if you post a suggestive picture it's there for just you and the rest of your 352 to 700+ closest friends.

And the titillating details of last night's tryst? How long do you think it's going to be before some enterprising soul who has access to your profile spreads that all around town...

Ticked someone off? Remember when you posted the 'called in sick and played hooky in Vegas story?' Ummm, the girl you dumped last week just copied that and sent it to your employer. Guess what happens in Vegas didn't stay in Vegas. Now you're job hunting again.

Plus, just the teen angst...Wow, some of the kids post Every. Bit. Of. Drivel. that occurs to them in that empty space between their ears and turn the site into a virtual party of weeping and gnashing of teeth.

I guess a note from a 30 something year old guy who has a tendency to friend lots and lots of tweens & young teen girls, 750+...(yeah, creepy) put it best recently...

"I swear, I know 2 many losers. Thinking about cutting the roster or just leaving Facebook all together."

Well, in the land of - it takes one to know one  fella...

I'd say that Grandma had better have her computer password protected and the kid can't be on it unless an adult is in the area who also has access to his site 'cause there are too many losers out there and you don't want the boy finding them all on your watch.
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You've Been Warned

Note to all spiders:

If you are on the ceiling and decide to go trekking...then let yourself down by one of your little threads and land on me?

I will not, repeat NOT, run shrieking.

I will look at you in dismay, smack you with my open hand (before you have a chance to crawl down my neck) and kill you. Then get a Kleenex, scoop up the disgusting remains and discard your carcass in the dust bin.

For better or worse that's just kinda my approach to life.

I'm good like that.
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Bumper Snicker

Spouses are like guns.

Have one around long enough, you're gonna want to shoot it. 

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The Sound of Silence

#1 Daughter has been back from college for the last week and a half. It's been nice to have her around. Expensive. But mostly nice. Had to be outfitted for her summer internship to Uganda. Kinda turned the old pockets inside out.

You need what?

Huh?

What?

And then there was the packing. Instructions on why one shouldn't wad their clothes up fell on deaf ears.

I also got the old "eye roll"  when I found myself explaining that t-shirts could actually stay white if one used a little bleach in the wash...

This last week has just reinforced that fact that I obviously like talking to myself.

A lot.

And when I did make enuf noise that she couldn't ignore me it was...

"I know, motherrr..." 

"Yes, motherrr..."

"Motherrr..."

Sigh.

So the Farm Boy & I went to put her on the plane this afternoon. (Right after feeding her the nice, foot long, Meatball Subway Sandwich that she wanted.) He anxiously asked, "Do you have Dramamine with you?"

Oh no, she assured him, she didn't need that. She doesn't get airsick.

It was The Youngest who got the call later.

Denver. Made it to the 1st stop. Lots of turbulence coming into the Mile High City.

Just thought she'd share...apparently meatball subs taste pretty much the same going down as they do coming back up.

You'll notice motherrr didn't get that call.
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Exit Strategy

Sometimes we get to chatting and time slips away from us...what's to do? Well, first off, if you're visiting say, at my house, and neither of us have anything pressing to do and we're enjoying ourselves - then let's keep talking!

However, if the time has come that I need for you to leave, several things will happen...

First - I'll glance (once) at my watch/or clock and say, "Oh, look at the time, I have to....", or if I've no child to pick up or appointment to go to (see, one doesn't want to lie), then I'll wait for a lull in the conversation, put a pleasant smile on my face & maybe clasp my hands gently together, tell you "Well, it's been lovely having the chance to visit, it's been great (or fill in the appropriate adjective) to see you. Thank you for coming,"

Then I'll gracefully rise and take a step toward the door.

If you're not moving I may extend one of those hands that have been so gently folded and graciously indicate the way to the exit.

Now see, this is where y'all need to pay attention.

Get up.

Leave.

Atta girl/boy!!!

AND If. You. Need. To. Leave. Please feel free to follow the same procedure.  Politely end the conversation. Follow the above strategy and we'll all meet at the door.

Only it's my house remember -

I stay.

You still go.
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