Counting to 10 - Slowly

It has been noted that someone in our household is a bit of a slob.

He can turn in a pretty good performance if he thinks someone he wants to impress is watching. Otherwise, ummm...not so much.

This morning he needs an envelope. He goes to my desk. I can hear him rummaging around.

????

You see it is "my" desk because that is where I pay the bills & file them. It could be our desk if he helped pay the bills or would even discuss a budget with me, but no, that stresses him out. He has enough stress in his life he says and refuses to deal with the bills. He likes to do the "Make it so #1." 

Jean Luc Picard he is not.

Therefore, in my opinion, he has forfeited the right to rummage about, mess up the piles, remove or rearrange items on the desk. He is well known for his ability to stop and drop things all about the house and I don't need to find an overdue bill under the sofa or anywhere else he may have dropped it and then forgotten about it. (I have a hard enough time misplacing things myself without additional help from him, thank you very much!)

Back to my story. He comes back with his envelope and two (2) invoices which he throws on the table with the dirty breakfast dishes.

He is oblivious to the 'look' I give him.

"One of these should be for the radiator for your van," he says.

One?

Should?

"Put it in the van with the rest of the receipts," he says.

Oh dear.

Would this be the receipt that he left laying on the kitchen counter yesterday? The one he emailed me about? Then phoned about? The one I put on my desk for safe keeping until I found other information that I wanted to put in the van along with it?

And if he is going to rummage thru the desk, and has to have it put in the van NOW... then why do his feet not just keep moving and walk the extra 30 feet to the vehicle into which he so greatly desires it to be? Instead he throws it into the sticky ring of apple juice that his glass has left on the table?

I watch his retreating back, then pick the receipts up. Replace the one that still needs to be on my desk, wipe the apple juice off the radiator receipt and go to the garage.

There is a neat little drawer under the front passengers seat. In it are maps, a phone directory, Les Scwab envelopes & a large manila envelope in which I keep all other receipts related to the vehicle. They should be in the 8x10 envelope in chronological order, oldest to newest.

Or not.

Should being the key word here...

I see why he didn't want to put the radiator receipt out here. Apparently the last time he needed a receipt (battery replacement/warranty?) he pulled them all out of the envelope, shuffled through them, then threw the envelope and all receipts back in the little compartment... Only the receipts didn't make it back into the envelope.

It was just like playing 52 card pick up.

Insert annoyed 'smiley face' here.

I didn't like playing that game when I was a kid.

Still don't now.

Must be cold in the garage - small sizzles of steam make a halo around my head.

And I'm left wondering - how do I tell him, in the nicest possible way....

Touch the desk - and die.

???
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