Wednesday, May 20, 2009


So the boss is toying with the idea of early retirement. He goes home to discuss it with the wife.

Comes back to work and reports that she said, "Okay, now let's see if I've got this straight. Early retirement. I get twice the man for half the money. Hmmm, let me think........................No."

Guess he'll be staying for a while.

Who's got your back?

Watched the show NCIS last nite. And yes, I know it's TV, duh... Anyway situation had a team member leave and the final scene showed the rest of the group looking at her empty chair. The actors did an good job of conveying a very real sense of loss, a void that would be difficult if not impossible to fill.

Fast forward to 'real life'. The average person doesn't deal with James Bond thriller situations: murder, espionage, or intrigue on a regular basis, if ever. . Back in the 'burbs we all hope/assume we have people around us who care for us, who love us in spite of ourselves. People we can trust. Y'know - the people we can always count on to 'have our back'.

My cousin Joe spoke at his father's funeral about a conversation they'd once had. His dad, Rod, told Joe that he considered him to be his best friend.

Joe recounted that Rod told him, "You know, I don't have many friends".

That remark brought the house down, everyone started laughing - because the place was packed. Literally. Standing room only. People were hanging in the chapel doors and backed up outside! Now, Rod was not a perfect man but, he was a charming man, fun loving, thoughtful. The entire community turned out for his passing and we laughed because we all loved him - no friends indeed! I, for one, know his passing left an empty place.

Unfortunately I know exactly what Rod meant.

There are acquaintances, friends and then there are 'best friends'. Related or not. The handful of people you trust with your fragile beating heart. The ones who hold your soul. The ones you love unconditionally. The ones you'd throw yourself in front of a truck to save. The ones you give everything you've got to. The ones you care enough about to be honest with..."

And then, you find it's not enough. It's "thank you very much, but, to all of that. However, you can hang around as long as you make yourself useful..."

God, it's a lonely world.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Shoot Me Now

You know, I would say it's a guy thing...

Farm Boy takes his dinner plate, sits in front of the TV, and using questionable manners, eats his food. Then puts the plate on the floor for the cat to lick. Now, most of the time he just leaves the plate and the maid gets it but tonight he picks it up and brings it to the kitchen where I (yeah, okay the maid) am doing dishes and waits in the doorway, and waits, and waits. I pretend I don't notice. 'Cause you know what he's doing????? Waiting for me to move so he can scrape his leftovers into the garbage. Isn't that sweet? Not really. He saved a few noodles and (standing not more than 5 feet from me) tried to push them over the top of his vegetables to disguise them so I "couldn't" see that he hadn't touched them, which of course necessitated him scraping the plate so I didn't uncover his stealth tactics.

Does he know how to say peripheral vision?

Fussy aren't I? Leave him alone already, right? Unfortunately this five year old behavior is being exhibited by a 50+ year old man. A man who is overweight, has a tendency toward high blood pressure, joints that ache so bad that he has an ibuprofen habit that should take his liver out any day now...the list goes on.

His life right? Hey, I'm with you, I have a lot of weight to lose myself, but....

We're back to that 'unfortunate' part again. When he sees the doctor he comes home with, "I've got to lose weight, now. You have to help, you need to change the way you cook, you need to..." So I do and then his problem becomes my problem. But he's a meat and potatoes kind of guy, along w/a chocolate kind of guy, a heavy on the carbs/starch kinda guy so he'll stick w/the program for a good 24 hours and then I get to watch him play juvenile games like...let's hide the vegetables! Hey, I like chocolate too but ultimately we're responsible for ourselves, right?

So okay, don't eat your vegetables, have 4 slices of toast & jam 30 minutes after you've just had a full dinner and rummage the frig again 30 minutes after that. But quit with trying to make me the fall guy because he says, wait for it...

"well... you knew."

Deep cleansing breath.

So is now the time to start on the bit about the newspaper? I need to talk to him. He assures me he's listening even tho I can see his eyes move back and forth as he reads. Then when he doesn't pick up the kid, blows by the appointment, doesn't return the call I told him about... it's "you never told me."

Ummmmm, no, now is not a good time.