Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Thought Association

When I get up, hit the shower and start my day it's never a big deal.

But, if I get up, go outside to work, in the yard or with animals, and wait to shower (to wash off  "the great stinky outdoors") it's always a pain in the neck. I've already gotten dressed once, now I have to undress, get wet and put on a bra - AGAIN! I just want to be three years old, plant my feet and say no! I'd be happy to sit around in a mu mu all day and if it weren't for sweat & fresh eau d'horse I'd surely do it!

Why is it even an issue? Just hop in the shower and go, right?  I have no idea. Just is. Which reminds me of some little people I used to know. Each of my three darlings had their quirks. The Commander wouldn't eat vegetables for the life of him, #1 Daughter didn't like fruit and....oh, I could fill the page with comments about french fries, pink, sitting under the table, forts, imaginary civilizations...

At the moment tho, my reluctance to get into the shower and get dressed, so I can do something with the rest of my day, just reminded me of a certain boy and his wardrobe. He'd get used to wearing long pants during the winter and come spring I just about had to duct tape him to the wall to get shorts on him so he wouldn't die of heat stroke. In the fall we'd do it in reverse. Couldn't get him out of his shorts and into long pants so he wouldn't freeze. Being our first child, the Commander was perhaps a bit indulged. Fortunately his sister came along. He had to learn to share and has grown up to be a responsible, intelligent, social adult. But I had to run pay attention to keep up with him.

Now we've have the good news that he and the DIL are expecting. TWINS! I'm so happy for them. Children add a joy, depth & dimension to your life that you never knew you were missing until you have them. And twins? Well, double the pleasure or double the trouble! I'm laughing because if they have two with the DIL's personality/spirit it will be smooth sailing all the way. If they have one for her and one for him, things might get a little interesting. But if they end up with two Little Commander's...well the thought just kinda makes me grin. All I can say is good luck getting those kids out of shorts when it's 20 degrees outside. And I probably should warn them, to never, EVER, get those children trains, let them see a train, let them hear a train.....bwahaha, long story. Just take my word for it! ;)

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Procrastinator's Hell

Yesterday I waited until the evening to clean the corral. Wanted it to be cooler, 'cause scooping poop is hard work! I was just about to go find my shovel when Farm Boy comes out and says "Your show is on!"

"Eh. I've got work to do."

"Oh come on. It's the season finale."

"Nah, I need to get this done."


And really, when faced with 1)missing one of the only TV programs you watch or  2)hauling horse manure....

I went inside.

This morning the alarm goes off. I push the snooze button. Alarm is still going.


This time I punch the snooze button. Alarm is STILL going.

I pick up the clock, turn the alarm off and there. is. still. noise...

Sigh. Cell phone alarm.

While yesterday was warmish, this morning is overcast. The clouds start moving in. The wind picks up. Oh oh. I'd best get moving.

Alas, by the time I made it to the corral the first drops of rain were falling. Dust was whirling around and it soon began to pour in dead earnest.

It only took about 45 minutes but by the time I was through I was soaked to the bone, covered in crap, with mud up to my knees.

The plan was to go in the back door, and in deference to the neighbors sensibilities I refrained from shedding my clothes on the deck.


The door was locked. I tried the next door...of course I'm locked out of the house.

Finally got into the garage once I got the *&!$# garage door opener to work. By now things are getting desperate because I really have to use the bathroom. Just as I punch the button to shut the garage door the cat dashes in thru the pelting rain and makes the door return to the open position. Rain is pouring in the garage and I have to try again & wait until it closes all the way this time.

Step inside, shed everything and streak nekked thru the house. (Y'know the one with all the curtains open.)


But that's what I get for putting stuff off.

I'm pretty sure catching the last show of the season wasn't quite worth it.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Aced Out

Ours is a three bedroom house. With only The Youngest left at home we finally had a spare room...Farm Boy has never slept well. He snores, talks in his sleep, grinds his teeth, gets up several times during the night, likes to read himself to sleep and is prone to turning on the light to peruse his favorite novel (in the middle of the night,) thrashes violently at times, and LOVES heat. The more blankets the better until he is literally drenched with sweat. Then he throws off the covers, gets cold and moves his clammy body back to snuggle with mine to get warm again.


Needless to say I've been sleep deprived for almost 30 years.

An empty bedroom solved that problem.


Now, The Youngest has a friend in need of a place to stay for a couple of weeks. Nice kid. No problem, but no one wants to give up their bed so Kiddo ends up with the twin size air mattress and bunks down on the floor in the office.

Bedtime is early. Boys have to get up starting at 5:15 to shower, eat, read scriptures, and travel to zero hour & seminary classes. Farm Boy is busy and running between TV room & office. I need him to settle down so kids can settle down.

Not happening.

So I tell The Youngest to take my bed and have Kiddo sleep on floor in there. Only place left in house where light, noise & confusion don't reign.

Then Farm Boy decides he's done.


So I yell down the hall to the Youngest, "Never mind, your dad is going to bed." The Youngest and Kiddo have a quick conference.

Kiddo comes out and grabs the air mattress, I assume, to put on the floor in the office.

I turn around and see Kiddo, with that big mattress tucked under his arm, and he goes sprinting thru the living room, down the hall into my bedroom like a surfer headed for the big wave!

I follow him down the hall, thinking they misunderstood, saying "Hey, HEY, HEY!" as the bedroom door closes in my face. It reopens just long enough for my pillows to be chucked out into the hall. I try guys can sleep where you usually do. I tell The Youngest, "Your dad is through for the night..."

Hah! The Youngest is laughing, saying he has already claimed the big bed for his for the night. "You said I could have it and no going back on your word..."

How sweet, a sleep over.

I look at his twin bed in "The Man Cave."


Meanwhile, Farm Boy, seeing that they've already moved headquarters, decides to continue with his project.

Dang. Completely and totally aced out.

I look at the cat. You know the one that likes to take up about a third of my queen size bed.

She looks at me.

"Oh no you don't," I say, as I dive on the boy's bed.


It's a dog eat dog world.


Monday, January 14, 2013


Sitting and talking with some friends about a couple we know who have been married for 20+ years. I mentioned that one of the things that impressed me the most was that after all that time of "rubbing along" they still looked at each other and the one adjective they use to describe the other was "fun!!!!" They're like magnets, each seeking the other whenever possible, wanting/needing to spend their spare time with each other.

Now, I'm thinking that in most marriages there are things you appreciate about your spouse and then things you've learned to live with... My view has always been that it works as long as the good out weighs the bad.

Occasionally you see a couple that still appear to be honeymooning years after the fact.

Totally cool.

Most of us, however, have calmed down a bit. Not complaining, just the way it is.

So another gal has been sitting there listening to us chat - all of the sudden she blurts, "Well, ---- (Farmboy) told me he thinks you're funny and interesting."


(LOL - blindsided from the left field!)

I know I just looked at her for a moment, and hopefully the look on my face wasn't too incredulous, finally I just said, "huh?"

Bless her soul. I guess she thought I needed some positive reinforcement, but I'm pretty sure those words have never left his mouth and if they ever did/would  that he wouldn't be having that conversation with  her.

I am funny. In a wickedly, sarcastic kind of way. And interesting? Eh...probably depends on who you are and how bored you are !!!! My sense of self esteem is intact.  But those aren't traits that the Farmboy spends a lot of time dwelling on. And Farmboy has good traits. I'm aware of that. But F.U.N. !!!! Y'know, not everyone is the class clown or a stand up comedian. He's not. That's okay.

So, yes, that was a little weird. I told him about it afterwards. He looked at me and said, "I never said that."

Now I am laughing!!!!!

Yes, dear. I know.