Tuesday, April 3, 2012

I'm Bad

ReplyTo: CustomerService@salliemae.com

Subject: Your Sallie Mae statement is ready to view


The #1 Daughter has been in South Africa for two months. She's just finished her training for the Peace Corps and now has moved to her permanent village in Zulu land where she will utilize her college degree in Public Health and it's emphasis on Epidemiology (study of infectious diseases.)

She will be there for the next two years and I'm left in charge of her banking account and making sure $$$ are transferred to take care of her concerns here in the States. One of which was paying off her student loan. I did so. Sent them a cashier check from her account which she has put me on as a co-signer. I called Sallie Mae @ the start of March, got the payoff and requested information on interest for the few days the check would be in transit. Thought we had it covered. The Daughter gets an email today w/her new statement. She owes 82 cents.  ????

I call them.  When all is said and done here's the email I just sent her:

Dear Daughter:

Okay, gotta love bureaucrats...not. Sent cashiers check in March, specifically asked for payoff w/grace from postal stamp date or additional interest for mail time whichever they preferred, just tell me what I need to send ... some companies use the posted date as their cutoff, but no. Not Sallie Mae. And the amount I sent ended up not being correct. Anyway instead of paying off 2 of the 3 loans completely they left a little principal on each loan for the few days lag time between when I sent it and when they posted it. Total was about .82. ???? Seriously? So I call and tell my main man Jeremy, I'm going to use my visa cash card to pay it. Today. Instead he wanted to bill me? Huh? "No, let's just do it now, save you postage and me trying to guess how much interest I'm going to have to pay this time and still not get the thing totally paid off." "Well... okay," he says. Doesn't seem to want to do it. He tells me he'll have to charge a minimum of $1 to the card so I'll end up overpaying .18.


I cheerfully answer, "That's fine. It's a check card which means it's going to cost Sallie Mae .85 cents to process it, you (Sallie Mae) will get .15. So, in the ultimate nod to stupidity, when we're done with all this nonsence we will have wasted your time and I'll have had the satisfaction of doing it. So at this point I'm thinking win-win!"

"Ahhh," he says. Pause. "Is there anything else we can do for you today?"  Me, "No, I'm good."

Anyway a statement is supposed to show up within 30 days in the mail showing that the loan is paid - free & clear and you should be getting an email. Oh, by the way, to save confusion I used your name. He thinks you're a bitch.

Love you.  Bye

Monday, April 2, 2012

Why Would I Lie?

Love the English language. Just wish I had a better command of it...

Last month there was an article from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch talking about a guy who had claimed he was a decorated war hero.

Never happened. So they were trying to pass a law making it illegal to claim you had received awards from the armed services when you actually had not. I understand the concept but that First Amendment is kind of a sticky little thing. You can get into trouble for liable - knowingly saying untrue things about others and defaming their character but lies? I guess everyone has their own perspective, a better question might be what is truth? Following is an excerpt from the article:

The most pathetic lies are protected by the First Amendment.  The First Amendment to the constitution reads, in part, "Congress shall make no law...abridging the freedom of speech."

The notion that anyone falsely would claim to have been decorated is despicable, contemptible, infuriating, outrageous and other adjectives precluded by space and taste.

Okay, I just don't want to deal w/the guy who's lying about being a decorated war hero.
What I want to talk about is that last sentence.

Is that not a great piece of writing? And I love the... other adjectives precluded by space and taste.

How often have you listened to people or read things that absolutely precluded any pretensions to taste, or even demonstrated the ability to utilize the English language proficiently?  (Disclaimer: Can I stomp around in the mosh pit with the best of them?  Well...unfortunately yes.) But I also have a great appreciation for being able to prove oneself semi-literate or at least pretend you have access to a dictionary. Go read some of Winston Churchill's stuff. Especially some of his one line retorts.  My personal favorite is one fired at Lady Astor, (neither of whom apparently cared for the other) She: "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your tea!" To which Winston Churchill replied, "Madame, if you were my wife, I would drink it."

What a fabulous come back! Today you seldom hear an outrageous compliment or an extraordinary put down. Most of the time someones displeasure is just expressed with a "f*** you."

Really?  That's it? Guess one doesn't have to worry about a continuing dialog or discussion to resolve any issues. Everyone just walks away with the f-bomb hanging in the air.

So to the guy lying about his war medals. Shame on you. Further discussion of your integrity is indeed prohibited by space and taste. There's a whole movie about "Why would I lie?" It's kinda of funny on an entertainment level...in real life, no.

We have freedom of speech in this country. We have and enjoy many more freedoms that people across the world can only dream about. I wish we all appreciated that fact more.