Tuesday, April 3, 2012

I'm Bad

ReplyTo: CustomerService@salliemae.com

Subject: Your Sallie Mae statement is ready to view


The #1 Daughter has been in South Africa for two months. She's just finished her training for the Peace Corps and now has moved to her permanent village in Zulu land where she will utilize her college degree in Public Health and it's emphasis on Epidemiology (study of infectious diseases.)

She will be there for the next two years and I'm left in charge of her banking account and making sure $$$ are transferred to take care of her concerns here in the States. One of which was paying off her student loan. I did so. Sent them a cashier check from her account which she has put me on as a co-signer. I called Sallie Mae @ the start of March, got the payoff and requested information on interest for the few days the check would be in transit. Thought we had it covered. The Daughter gets an email today w/her new statement. She owes 82 cents.  ????

I call them.  When all is said and done here's the email I just sent her:

Dear Daughter:

Okay, gotta love bureaucrats...not. Sent cashiers check in March, specifically asked for payoff w/grace from postal stamp date or additional interest for mail time whichever they preferred, just tell me what I need to send ... some companies use the posted date as their cutoff, but no. Not Sallie Mae. And the amount I sent ended up not being correct. Anyway instead of paying off 2 of the 3 loans completely they left a little principal on each loan for the few days lag time between when I sent it and when they posted it. Total was about .82. ???? Seriously? So I call and tell my main man Jeremy, I'm going to use my visa cash card to pay it. Today. Instead he wanted to bill me? Huh? "No, let's just do it now, save you postage and me trying to guess how much interest I'm going to have to pay this time and still not get the thing totally paid off." "Well... okay," he says. Doesn't seem to want to do it. He tells me he'll have to charge a minimum of $1 to the card so I'll end up overpaying .18.


I cheerfully answer, "That's fine. It's a check card which means it's going to cost Sallie Mae .85 cents to process it, you (Sallie Mae) will get .15. So, in the ultimate nod to stupidity, when we're done with all this nonsence we will have wasted your time and I'll have had the satisfaction of doing it. So at this point I'm thinking win-win!"

"Ahhh," he says. Pause. "Is there anything else we can do for you today?"  Me, "No, I'm good."

Anyway a statement is supposed to show up within 30 days in the mail showing that the loan is paid - free & clear and you should be getting an email. Oh, by the way, to save confusion I used your name. He thinks you're a bitch.

Love you.  Bye

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