Monday, November 26, 2012

You Little Whippersnapper You!

I head for bed. Close the door, pull my covers up and snuggle in. I start to doze off.

Suddenly I snap back awake. Farm Boy and The Youngest have decided to have a loud and robust conversation in the hall, right outside the bedroom door.

Hunting, guns, ha ha ha, blah, blah, blah.


Raucous laughter.

"HEY!!!! Shut up out there!!!"

Farm Boy, "Oophs, your mother has issues." I hear his retreating footsteps.

The Youngest however, opens the door, laughing, and says, "You sound just like the old lady in the movies, yelling from the room upstairs!"

"Yessss, thank you. Now close the door."

"Goodnight GRANDMA." he says with a smirk.



Sunday, November 25, 2012

May I Say Who's Calling?

The phone rings.


"HI! This is Allison."

I'm just standing there...and I'm thinking, the secretary from school? Jillian's sister Allison?

"I'm returning your call?

???? Ummm.

I'm totally drawing a blank and then finally my brain returns from the short cruise it was on to the Bahama's...

"Oh! ALLYSON! Sorry, misplaced my mind for a moment. Yes! I called about...blah, blah, blah..."

Honestly sometimes...and yet I have to laugh about this name confusion game. I was talking to the Farm Boy and saying, "and then Shirley said..."


In exasperation, "No, Shirley L***!" What was he thinking? Could he even vaguely envision the other Shirley playing Tarzan from her deck? (I know... great story, but not mine to tell here!)

Or "Carrie called."

"Kerry? You mean, the Bishop?"

"NO! Carrie, the girl."

??? He's got that look, does he even know a female named Carrie?

"For heavens sakes guy, Carrie F*****!"


And so it goes.

But my favorite was talking about Wendy to Wendy. One Wendy is petite and lives in S. California. The other Wendy is tall and lives about a mile from me. I've know the one for 35 years the other about 25 years. But after visiting Los Angeles this summer, apparently I was doing the old, "Wendy this, Wendy that..." It was getting confusing. I started resorting to calling them Little Wendy and....

Of course you can follow the other's 'name' to it's logical conclusion to which SHE said,

"Ummm, no. Let's find a more flattering way to refer to me. I don't do BIG Wendy."


Whoops. ;)

Friday, November 16, 2012

Small Acts of Kindness

All body parts are functioning as normal, or pretty much as normal as they will ever be again. There are new limitations to live with, but it is what it is. Time to refocus on justifying my existence. So I'm looking for service opportunities.

Be careful what you ask for!

Large and small in the last two weeks all I have to do is stand still for a few moments and "things" present themselves. Which is good, but:

That quick craft project? Six hours later I had it done. Cute, but having bad thoughts about glue guns. Still it was one less thing my very busy friend had to worry about. Made me happy to know I'd lifted a small burden.

Teach what? Ohhh, so not my favorite. I flat said no. She thought I was kidding. Sigh. It won't kill me.

Dinner for how many? Got it covered.

You did what to that computer? And I'm supposed to fix it how? This is gonna take a while.

They are where? Who has them & why? Huh? Okay. Okay. I'll take care of it. Yes. I know. You're welcome.

Twilight? Again. Seriously? Ummm. You know I love you when I stay up until 1:30 in the morning for a girl's night out to see a show I loath, am not really interesting in.

Your teenager needs a place to camp for four days? Sure.

Do I look like your mother? Never mind. Where are you? I'll be right there.

But the best was my pregnant neighbor who was due last Sunday. She called because all her friends who said they'd watch her 3 year old son took off for the weekend and she needed someone to watch Ben until her mother could get here when she went into labor. (Mom lives ~ 100 miles away.) Sure!

I thought about it and called back. "Okay, so you have his favorite snacks/toys, schedule etc. written out /where I can find it to help ease the transition of having a "strange" person coming over to take care of him, yes?"

"Oh, I'll get that taken care of," she said.

The weekend passes. No baby. But last night her husband calls. "Can you take Ben for a while?"

"Oh, sure. What time do you want me over there?"

"How about I just drop him at your house until Grandma gets here?"

So in a little while Mr. Ben is handed in the door with one diaper and dad is gone.

Fortunately I realized that being dropped at the neighbor ladies' place, who he only sees occasionally waving at him from the front yard, might be a bit traumatic so I had Will put on an animated Disney show, we turned up all the lights so it was nice and bright, pulled out a furry, snugly blanket, spread the Lego's out on the floor and strategically placed Spiderman fruit snacks on the table right in front of the TV. When dad set him on the sofa & I placed an open pack of yummies in his hand he was sufficiently distracted so dad could slip out the door.

The kid was totally calm and sweet. Will built him little Lego cars. Ben was perfectly content. He had toys in one hand, snacks in the other and between making putt putt noises for the cars and neighs for the toy horse, he kept an eye on the TV and watched lively segments of the DVD. 

Happy child. Success!

When Grandma showed up, I went to answer the door. My little shadow followed. I said "hi" and turned to pick up Ben's coat. "Time to go, cutie!"


He marches quickly into the living room, climbs into the rocking chair, braces his feet, and YELLS, "No! NO! NO!"

New game plan.

I look at grandma. "So, why don't you have a seat, and we'll chat?" :)

We make casual conversation and after a couple of minutes I get up and get a couple more packages of fruit snacks and hand them off.

"Oh, look Ben. Grandma has more Spiderman treats for you!" He calmly looks at her. Then looks away. We chat a bit more, then I pick up the coat again. "Let me help you put on your coat guy!"

I get the look.

Then he holds out one arm, then the other...

He, Grandma & the fruit snacks disappear into the night.

It's good to be useful.