Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Boys Are Gross!


The Youngest gets off the Transit Bus, crosses the parking lot and hops in our rig.

"Wow," he says. "Couldn't wait to get out of there. I've had the worse case of gas and have been holding it all the way from Richland."


"Those chicken sandwiches they serve in the cafeteria at school are toxic!"

I look at him in alarm.

Too late.

The fumes almost make my eyes water. I hurriedly roll down the window.

HE just sits there and grins. He thinks he's funny.

And they wonder why people abuse their children....

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Private Club

The Youngest has been a naughty boy and has been grounded for the last two weeks. This means, in part, that his driving privileges have been temporarily revoked.

Win, win situation for me. I have to go to Richland to work out anyway, so I can run him to school, he gets his dose of discipline as his buddies see him dropped off by his mommy and then I head for the club. This gets me to a water aerobics class that is just one hour earlier than the one I usually attend. Only difference is that the ladies in class all range in the late 60's to 70's + years old, instead of the 40-50 range in the later class. So, nice women, but most are my mother's age.

One sweet woman, named Leah, belongs to the same church as I, just attends a different ward. She goes out of her way to include me and the past two weeks have been fun getting to know her.

Today, Joan shows up.

Everyone else knows her but it's the first time I've seen her. Been on vacation, maybe? Leah & I are talking, she sees Joan and motions her into our "circle." Leah leans forward conspiratorially and whispers to Joan, "She's one of us."

I look at the rest of the octogenarians. I'm a little concerned. How old does she think I am?????


She means I'm LDS.


That I can live with. Welcome to the club!!!!

Friday, March 2, 2012

Senior Citizen Discounts

When you are in your late 40's, AARP starts a letter campaign offering you membership and regular mailings/magazines.  Most of us aren't feeling it and file the paper trail in the garbage.

With the official retirement age at 65 and threatening to go higher "we" have a hard time dealing with/thinking about aging issues.

Boomers look in the mirror, apply our potions & lotions and blithely go on our way.

Sometimes we get a little reality check.

Like today.

I went into a store and at the check out counter a perky, young clerk informed me that there was a 10% senior citizens discount.

I hemmed & hawed, until she continued by telling me their discount started at age 55.


I just turned 55. And allowing myself a private delusion, I was sure I didn't look it.

The $1.34 I saved was not adequate compensation for my deflated ego.

I trudged back to my van w/my bags and as I settled in the cell phone rang. It was Farm Boy. We chatted and I related the incident to him.

I was kinda laughing.

He immediately and cheerfully states, "For what it's worth, I've never been offered a discount."


Ha, Ha. It is to laugh. Funny guy.

You know there's an old Arabic curse that goes something like....

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your (ahem - edit) armpits.

I know, cranky.