Shoot Me Now

You know, I would say it's a guy thing...

Farm Boy takes his dinner plate, sits in front of the TV, and using questionable manners, eats his food. Then puts the plate on the floor for the cat to lick. Now, most of the time he just leaves the plate and the maid gets it but tonight he picks it up and brings it to the kitchen where I (yeah, okay the maid) am doing dishes and waits in the doorway, and waits, and waits. I pretend I don't notice. 'Cause you know what he's doing????? Waiting for me to move so he can scrape his leftovers into the garbage. Isn't that sweet? Not really. He saved a few noodles and (standing not more than 5 feet from me) tried to push them over the top of his vegetables to disguise them so I "couldn't" see that he hadn't touched them, which of course necessitated him scraping the plate so I didn't uncover his stealth tactics.

Does he know how to say peripheral vision?

Fussy aren't I? Leave him alone already, right? Unfortunately this five year old behavior is being exhibited by a 50+ year old man. A man who is overweight, has a tendency toward high blood pressure, joints that ache so bad that he has an ibuprofen habit that should take his liver out any day now...the list goes on.

His life right? Hey, I'm with you, I have a lot of weight to lose myself, but....

We're back to that 'unfortunate' part again. When he sees the doctor he comes home with, "I've got to lose weight, now. You have to help, you need to change the way you cook, you need to..." So I do and then his problem becomes my problem. But he's a meat and potatoes kind of guy, along w/a chocolate kind of guy, a heavy on the carbs/starch kinda guy so he'll stick w/the program for a good 24 hours and then I get to watch him play juvenile games like...let's hide the vegetables! Hey, I like chocolate too but ultimately we're responsible for ourselves, right?

So okay, don't eat your vegetables, have 4 slices of toast & jam 30 minutes after you've just had a full dinner and rummage the frig again 30 minutes after that. But quit with trying to make me the fall guy because he says, wait for it...

"well... you knew."

Deep cleansing breath.

So is now the time to start on the bit about the newspaper? I need to talk to him. He assures me he's listening even tho I can see his eyes move back and forth as he reads. Then when he doesn't pick up the kid, blows by the appointment, doesn't return the call I told him about... it's "you never told me."

Ummmmm, no, now is not a good time.
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