Making Headlines

Ahhh, poor Tiger. Why is everyone picking on him? Well....I know I'm unhappy because here was a young man with talent, with money, with a beautiful wife and two darling children, and I was so pleased that he seemed to be getting it right, was setting a good example (a rarity for sports figures these days), living what appeared to be a well deserved "good life", but...

Whoops, no, never mind.

One, two, three affairs that we know of and he's joining ranks with the rest of the entitled brats. His "friend" who employed Elin (as the family nanny) stated: I guess I owe Elin an apology for introducing Tiger to her....

So - you knew they'd be coming.  (And by the way Tiger, thanks for adding more fodder to the...don't worry if you can't get it right...list.)

Without further ado:

The New Tiger Woods One Liners

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards

What were Tiger and his wife doing out at 2:30 in the morning? They went clubbing.

Tiger crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree...apparently he couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.

Since Tiger drives an Escalade, can he blame the accident on his caddy?

They tell us Ping just offered Elin an endorsement contract pushing her own set of drivers. They're going to call them Elin Woods..."clubs you can beat Tiger with."

And last but not least...

Tiger just changed his nickname but he's still keeping it in the cat family - his new name: Cheetah.

Bah da Bing!

That's it for tonight folks.

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