Monday, February 22, 2010

Mormon Bachelor Pad

How distressing.

Sometimes being bored just doesn't pay. You know, I suffer a lot from the: it's late at night, I can't sleep, but there is little I can do that won't keep everyone else I read, scrapbook, surf the net etc. until I'm tired enough to shut down.

Ran into the Mormon Bachelor Pad last nite. Now granted, this is obviously a young, shallow, 20 something, my brain is in my penis type man boy but still...just because a thought crosses your mind probably doesn't mean you should always say it or better yet, it should go unfiltered onto the net so everyone knows what an idiot you are. I'm sure you think you're funny, but - I know your momma taught you better. (Please tell me she taught you better.)

One story from him was enuf. The young man was set up with a blind date who was a "total 9", but once he & his group got to the restuarant he realized she was gorgeous but didn't have a brain so he proceeded to ignore her for the rest of the evening and began to hit on his friend's (a former mission companion) date who was (only) a 7 but could hold an intelligent conversation. Now while he was chatting up girl #2 he made sure girl #1 was close by because, well, she was hot, and he wanted everyone to see him with her. Meanwhile girl #2 was interesting enough that her numbers were going up and he was angling to get her phone number.  He finally inquired of his mission buddy if he'd mind him moving in on the girl, 'cause after all the guy was only in town for a short while so wouldn't be able to utilize her, and our guy wanted to make sure it was okay, him being, after all, a classy kind of guy, because you know, it's "bro's before 'ho's."

Has anyone ran shrieking yet?


Oh good, because there is more...Anyway, the evening ends. Our young man, being the (cough, hairball) gentleman he is, escorts girl #1 home. Debates with himself how far he's going to try to push the good night thing....hmmm, he muses....full tongue??? Finally decides to settle with a nice hug, because after all he pretty much ditched her for the evening and he really does want to call girl #2. But damn...#1 is hot. Oh! Decisions, decisions.

Has the word SHALLOW come into play yet?

Really, I think our little man needs to marry #1. The fact that the young woman didn't clock the feckless bastard in the side of the head before placing a call for a ride home speaks volumes. If there is any justice at all the clueless duo would be granted a Darwin Award before they procreated. Which could just be a win-win solution.


Yes, I'm being way too harsh. You know, I know that "they" are out there. But still, it's so much nicer when they just keep their mouths shut, their zipper's zipped, and their fingers off the keyboard so they don't intrude on my reality.


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