Final Roundup

One of our ward members passed away last Monday. He'd had a brain tumor and after a series of treatments, stops & starts, 9 months later the cancer had spread through his body and he was gone.

The funeral...I've never been fond of funerals. I understand completely the need for closure and the kindness it is to have friends pay their last respects but still when it's my turn, people...make it short and sweet. Those who know me hopefully will be glad that I'm free of these earthly restraints and we'll all hope that God, in His mercy, will have a line of horses, with soft noses to kiss, waiting.

Meanwhile, if I have done any good, please let those whom I served accept it quietly and without fan fare. And for those whom I've offended...if they can forgive me - for their sake as much as mine. It would be, as Martha Stewart likes to say, a good thing.

Then those talks...okay, whoever gets "stuck" with the plan of salvation - Please tell them, "This is what she believed..." and now pay attention, you've got 7 minutes to get in and get out. GO! And Commander, I'm sorry, I think you're going to be the one who'll be assigned this. Face it son, you're a total motor mouth. You can do it and make them understand. It may be the only chance some of them have to learn why they're here and where they're going.

Life sketch. Youngest you're turning into quite the wit. Give it a shot. Dan's son, Jacob, handled his father's life with dexterity. He told the story of a quiet, taciturn man with insight and humor... taking a man who just plain didn't like people much and breathed life back into his memory. So feel free to make me look as good as possible. It's a one shot thing you know.

#1 Daughter. You like funerals all most as much as I do. And for you to talk! Unless you prerecorded a message you'd never make it. But you'll need to keep your finger's warmed up 'cause we're going to have to find a song that says it all and you're going to have to play it to send me off.

Then, I'm thinking we're pretty much done. Instead of stressing the poor sister's in the ward out trying to cook & clean, I vote that for everyone who's still hanging in there after we do the cemetery thing that we you head back to the local smorgasbord, use a little of the insurance money, hit the 'all you can eat' banquet, talk, enjoy each other's company and call it a day.

Oh, yeah, and for the joker who puts the banner on the casket that says, "GOOD LUCK!"

Take. That. Off.
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