Aced Out

Ours is a three bedroom house. With only The Youngest left at home we finally had a spare room...Farm Boy has never slept well. He snores, talks in his sleep, grinds his teeth, gets up several times during the night, likes to read himself to sleep and is prone to turning on the light to peruse his favorite novel (in the middle of the night,) thrashes violently at times, and LOVES heat. The more blankets the better until he is literally drenched with sweat. Then he throws off the covers, gets cold and moves his clammy body back to snuggle with mine to get warm again.

Woof.

Needless to say I've been sleep deprived for almost 30 years.

An empty bedroom solved that problem.

Bliss.

Now, The Youngest has a friend in need of a place to stay for a couple of weeks. Nice kid. No problem, but no one wants to give up their bed so Kiddo ends up with the twin size air mattress and bunks down on the floor in the office.

Bedtime is early. Boys have to get up starting at 5:15 to shower, eat, read scriptures, and travel to zero hour & seminary classes. Farm Boy is busy and running between TV room & office. I need him to settle down so kids can settle down.

Not happening.

So I tell The Youngest to take my bed and have Kiddo sleep on floor in there. Only place left in house where light, noise & confusion don't reign.

Then Farm Boy decides he's done.

???

So I yell down the hall to the Youngest, "Never mind, your dad is going to bed." The Youngest and Kiddo have a quick conference.

Kiddo comes out and grabs the air mattress, I assume, to put on the floor in the office.

I turn around and see Kiddo, with that big mattress tucked under his arm, and he goes sprinting thru the living room, down the hall into my bedroom like a surfer headed for the big wave!

I follow him down the hall, thinking they misunderstood, saying "Hey, HEY, HEY!" as the bedroom door closes in my face. It reopens just long enough for my pillows to be chucked out into the hall. I try again...you guys can sleep where you usually do. I tell The Youngest, "Your dad is through for the night..."

Hah! The Youngest is laughing, saying he has already claimed the big bed for his for the night. "You said I could have it and no going back on your word..."

How sweet, a sleep over.

I look at his twin bed in "The Man Cave."

Hmmm.

Meanwhile, Farm Boy, seeing that they've already moved headquarters, decides to continue with his project.

Dang. Completely and totally aced out.

I look at the cat. You know the one that likes to take up about a third of my queen size bed.

She looks at me.

"Oh no you don't," I say, as I dive on the boy's bed.

"Mine."

It's a dog eat dog world.

G'nite.

Huh?

Sitting and talking with some friends about a couple we know who have been married for 20+ years. I mentioned that one of the things that impressed me the most was that after all that time of "rubbing along" they still looked at each other and the one adjective they use to describe the other was "fun!!!!" They're like magnets, each seeking the other whenever possible, wanting/needing to spend their spare time with each other.

Now, I'm thinking that in most marriages there are things you appreciate about your spouse and then things you've learned to live with... My view has always been that it works as long as the good out weighs the bad.

Occasionally you see a couple that still appear to be honeymooning years after the fact.

Totally cool.

Most of us, however, have calmed down a bit. Not complaining, just the way it is.

So another gal has been sitting there listening to us chat - all of the sudden she blurts, "Well, ---- (Farmboy) told me he thinks you're funny and interesting."

?????

(LOL - blindsided from the left field!)

I know I just looked at her for a moment, and hopefully the look on my face wasn't too incredulous, finally I just said, "huh?"

Bless her soul. I guess she thought I needed some positive reinforcement, but I'm pretty sure those words have never left his mouth and if they ever did/would  that he wouldn't be having that conversation with  her.

I am funny. In a wickedly, sarcastic kind of way. And interesting? Eh...probably depends on who you are and how bored you are !!!! My sense of self esteem is intact.  But those aren't traits that the Farmboy spends a lot of time dwelling on. And Farmboy has good traits. I'm aware of that. But F.U.N. !!!! Y'know, not everyone is the class clown or a stand up comedian. He's not. That's okay.

So, yes, that was a little weird. I told him about it afterwards. He looked at me and said, "I never said that."

Now I am laughing!!!!!

Yes, dear. I know.

You Little Whippersnapper You!

I head for bed. Close the door, pull my covers up and snuggle in. I start to doze off.

Suddenly I snap back awake. Farm Boy and The Youngest have decided to have a loud and robust conversation in the hall, right outside the bedroom door.

Hunting, guns, ha ha ha, blah, blah, blah.

"Hey!"

Raucous laughter.

"HEY!!!! Shut up out there!!!"

Farm Boy, "Oophs, your mother has issues." I hear his retreating footsteps.

The Youngest however, opens the door, laughing, and says, "You sound just like the old lady in the movies, yelling from the room upstairs!"


"Yessss, thank you. Now close the door."

"Goodnight GRANDMA." he says with a smirk.

"GET OUT."

Brat.

May I Say Who's Calling?

The phone rings.

"Hello?"

"HI! This is Allison."

I'm just standing there...and I'm thinking, the secretary from school? Jillian's sister Allison?

"I'm returning your call?

???? Ummm.

I'm totally drawing a blank and then finally my brain returns from the short cruise it was on to the Bahama's...

"Oh! ALLYSON! Sorry, misplaced my mind for a moment. Yes! I called about...blah, blah, blah..."

Honestly sometimes...and yet I have to laugh about this name confusion game. I was talking to the Farm Boy and saying, "and then Shirley said..."

"Shirley...W****?"

In exasperation, "No, Shirley L***!" What was he thinking? Could he even vaguely envision the other Shirley playing Tarzan from her deck? (I know... great story, but not mine to tell here!)

Or "Carrie called."

"Kerry? You mean, the Bishop?"

"NO! Carrie, the girl."

??? He's got that look, does he even know a female named Carrie?

"For heavens sakes guy, Carrie F*****!"

"Oh."

And so it goes.

But my favorite was talking about Wendy to Wendy. One Wendy is petite and lives in S. California. The other Wendy is tall and lives about a mile from me. I've know the one for 35 years the other about 25 years. But after visiting Los Angeles this summer, apparently I was doing the old, "Wendy this, Wendy that..." It was getting confusing. I started resorting to calling them Little Wendy and....

Of course you can follow the other's 'name' to it's logical conclusion to which SHE said,

"Ummm, no. Let's find a more flattering way to refer to me. I don't do BIG Wendy."

LOL

Whoops. ;)

Small Acts of Kindness

All body parts are functioning as normal, or pretty much as normal as they will ever be again. There are new limitations to live with, but it is what it is. Time to refocus on justifying my existence. So I'm looking for service opportunities.

Be careful what you ask for!

Large and small in the last two weeks all I have to do is stand still for a few moments and "things" present themselves. Which is good, but:

That quick craft project? Six hours later I had it done. Cute, but having bad thoughts about glue guns. Still it was one less thing my very busy friend had to worry about. Made me happy to know I'd lifted a small burden.

Teach what? Ohhh, so not my favorite. I flat said no. She thought I was kidding. Sigh. It won't kill me.

Dinner for how many? Got it covered.

You did what to that computer? And I'm supposed to fix it how? This is gonna take a while.

They are where? Who has them & why? Huh? Okay. Okay. I'll take care of it. Yes. I know. You're welcome.

Twilight? Again. Seriously? Ummm. You know I love you when I stay up until 1:30 in the morning for a girl's night out to see a show I loath, am not really interesting in.

Your teenager needs a place to camp for four days? Sure.

Do I look like your mother? Never mind. Where are you? I'll be right there.

But the best was my pregnant neighbor who was due last Sunday. She called because all her friends who said they'd watch her 3 year old son took off for the weekend and she needed someone to watch Ben until her mother could get here when she went into labor. (Mom lives ~ 100 miles away.) Sure!

I thought about it and called back. "Okay, so you have his favorite snacks/toys, schedule etc. written out /where I can find it to help ease the transition of having a "strange" person coming over to take care of him, yes?"

"Oh, I'll get that taken care of," she said.

The weekend passes. No baby. But last night her husband calls. "Can you take Ben for a while?"

"Oh, sure. What time do you want me over there?"

"How about I just drop him at your house until Grandma gets here?"

So in a little while Mr. Ben is handed in the door with one diaper and dad is gone.

Fortunately I realized that being dropped at the neighbor ladies' place, who he only sees occasionally waving at him from the front yard, might be a bit traumatic so I had Will put on an animated Disney show, we turned up all the lights so it was nice and bright, pulled out a furry, snugly blanket, spread the Lego's out on the floor and strategically placed Spiderman fruit snacks on the table right in front of the TV. When dad set him on the sofa & I placed an open pack of yummies in his hand he was sufficiently distracted so dad could slip out the door.

The kid was totally calm and sweet. Will built him little Lego cars. Ben was perfectly content. He had toys in one hand, snacks in the other and between making putt putt noises for the cars and neighs for the toy horse, he kept an eye on the TV and watched lively segments of the DVD. 

Happy child. Success!

When Grandma showed up, I went to answer the door. My little shadow followed. I said "hi" and turned to pick up Ben's coat. "Time to go, cutie!"

Brakes. REALLY GOOD BRAKES.

He marches quickly into the living room, climbs into the rocking chair, braces his feet, and YELLS, "No! NO! NO!"

New game plan.

I look at grandma. "So, why don't you have a seat, and we'll chat?" :)

We make casual conversation and after a couple of minutes I get up and get a couple more packages of fruit snacks and hand them off.

"Oh, look Ben. Grandma has more Spiderman treats for you!" He calmly looks at her. Then looks away. We chat a bit more, then I pick up the coat again. "Let me help you put on your coat guy!"

I get the look.

Then he holds out one arm, then the other...

He, Grandma & the fruit snacks disappear into the night.

It's good to be useful.

Civility

Another month of this nonsense.

Political debates, elections... the parties clash. The issues polarize the populace. Taxes, women's rights, gay marriage...

There's a lot of my way or the highway going on.

Wow.

I'm seeing things I don't like. HOWEVER, for every belief I hold dear there is someone on the other side. But we seem to be forgetting that our right to swing our fist ends at the other guy's nose. I may bitch about it here but I try to hold my tongue in public because 'they' have their agency. I don't get to tell them what to do. I will share my beliefs but sometimes we end up agreeing to disagree and I go to my corner while they...hmmm, well, unfortunately I've noticed they tend to try to sit on top of me.

That's when I start to get a little frisky.

Get off.

I can't make you accept my definition of marriage. But why do you get to change and define the standard  that has stood for thousands of years?

I can't stop you from having an abortion. But if a cell is dividing and growing, if it has a beating heart, it is by definition, a living thing. Except in the case of rape/ incest, you had the ability to keep that egg from being fertilized. THAT was your choice. Why do you get to take away the choice of an unborn child and kill him? His body - not yours.

I can't stop you from printing every form & notice in several languages. BUT, my grandparent's ALL learned English when they came to this country. A common, spoken language unifies people. Why are you "special?"

I can't...yes, the list goes on.

Mostly, I'd like to see people being responsible for themselves. Everyone could use a hand now and then but if you constantly expect hand outs I'm not sure that I got the memo that said I was responsible for providing them.

I feel like I'm standing here, just trying to hold on to my little patch of  grass. So we call a vote, but if I and like minded people vote and pass a rule or win an election we end up getting shoved up against the wall and threatened until they get what they want... it's never finished until the liberal/radical element prevails. This, of course, is the same liberal faction that fights the idea of presenting valid voter id. Washington State had a governor's race a few years back that a conservative won...by a narrow margin, but he won. So, a recount was called for. He won again...by a narrower margin. Soooooo, they recounted again until the liberal candidate won by the narrowest of margins. The results then stood. It seems a few dogs and dead people had to vote to get those results.       ????

Now, I'm not necessarily a Sarah Palin fan but when Obama first campaigned for President he was young and relatively inexperienced in the political arena. He became the Great Black Hope. Sarah Palin, too, was young and relatively inexperienced but running as theVice Presidential candidate she was virtually crucified for the same traits that Obama had.  ????

Next, (this one is old, but one of my personal favorites...) if you use the word niggardly in a sentence you are a racist.  ????

Also if you have several guys standing together, all with black hair, brown eyes and dark complexions and you identify one as "black," covering anyone of African descent, as opposed to the Oriental, Italian/Middle Eastern Type or Hispanic he's standing by, you are likely to be labeled racist. (Seriously, happened.) Sigh.

I'm not only wondering what happened to civility, but common sense, integrity, morality...

And it looks like I might have to keep wondering.

Speaking In Tongues

Read the book Mount Dragon by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child. It's billed as a "genetic research thriller."

I've enjoyed their books - they move right along, and are interesting...The passage that caught my attention this time was between the "good" guy Charles Levine & the "bad" guy, ex-friend/power broker, Brent Scopes. They're about to die...

Scopes poses the question: "Do you believe in life after death?"

Levine shook his head, "In Judaism, we believe it's what we do in this life that matters. We achieve immortality through living a righteous life, and worshipping God. The children we leave behind are our immortality."

Scopes points out, "But you have no children, Charles"

"I had always hoped to. I've tried to do good in other ways, not always with success."

Scopes was silent. "I used to despise people who needed to believe in an afterlife," he went on at last. "I thought it was a weakness. Now that the moment of reckoning is here, I wish I had spent more time convincing myself." He looked down. "It would be nice to have some hope."

Hmmm, yes.

I'm totally on board with the idea my children are my "gift" to the world. I expect them to meet and exceed my contributions to society, but I'm pretty sure that my actual salvation/immortality (or place therein) is up to me. For better or worse I think I will be judged for my own actions and, well, I agree it is nice to have hope.

Meanwhile, I've had a couple of interesting conversations recently. That "God thing" kept popping up this summer. Seems there is a trend towards rejecting organized religion. These folks aren't saying they don't believe in God, they just don't want SOMEONE telling them what to believe about God.

Okay. I understand that. But whether you're a Christian, Jew, Muslim, or....just about everyone has a book of instructions. Who decides exactly what those instructions are saying? We go to our different churches & synagogues, mosques, to be taught what these books mean...(defense exhibit #1: Isaiah?  Or how about Leviticus?) I'm not dumb but I'm willing to listen to other's interpretations!

Keep in mind that the people I was talking to came from Christian backgrounds, but they were basically saying they were "rejecting" Christianity in favor of an all seeing God who encompassed all the earth. Well, to an extent, I could agree with that. I do believe there is one God. I just think people have developed different concepts of who He actually is.

I listened carefully as a person explained that she fell under no particular denomination or sect - while she described me as a hard core (?) Mormon, (and she had no problem with that, some of her best friends had been Mormon) she was simply "spiritual." She felt that we, as citizens of the world, had a duty to one another to help each other out. I agreed and said, "We call that...service." Then she said we should impart a portion of our worldly goods to help those less fortunate. "Umhmm...we call that...tithing/fast offering." Continuing on she explained that we have the power to communicate with God. "Yes, I said, we call that...prayer." Finally she spoke about being able to learn to understand the mind of God and receive inspiration from him. "Ah yes, we call that... revelation." I continued... "You know, this is kinda cool. We actually seem to have a lot of common ground!"

She changed the subject.

I thought we were speaking the same language...but, maybe not. Can always hope though, right?