RE: Make My Day...

'Scuse Me...gotta go find my gun. ;)

Another Rant

So, the facebook post went:

I may be turning into a fussy old woman, but hey...next time you wear the REALLY short, short cutoff jeans to the grocery store, (even if you wear beige spankies or was that your boy cut panties?) please don't bend over like that. :(

And one of the comments went:

... fussy old lady would be the old lady who lays into her in public...and i would have paid to see that (you laying into her, not the scene you described)

My, tongue in cheek, response was:

Nate - I just don't understand how you think anyone as sweet as me would cause a public scene. ;)

 

I'm left thinking this situation is somewhat of a conundrum. We used to wear rather disreputable, cut off blue jeans to the swimming hole when I was a kid...mostly because we didn't have money for 'real' swimming suits, plus, the jeans were short because you don't want a lot of material dragging you down and drowning you while you're just trying to have a little fun and cool off, right? Now, even when girls wear their skimpy bikini's they're usually fairly snug and body parts are "contained." Plus, it is the beach/swimming pool and you're kind of ready for what may be lounging about.

Same thing with sports wear...umm, bicycle shorts? Not a lot left to the imagination but at least everything is tucked in. Wrestling singlets?  Bwahaha...

I don't even have a problem with nudist colonies. Everyone there, at the resort, is (I assume) on the same page, so, no surprises there.

End analysis? I don't like being flashed in public. While it's embarrassing to mention to someone that "your fly is down," I view it as a kindness if someone squeaks up. But, for all the plunging necklines that leave little to the imagination, exposed midriffs that are threatening to disclose pubic hair, and pants that just no way, no how, cover the subject...

Seriously. What do you say? They know what they looked like when they left the house. They dressed that way expressly to attract attention. If some "old lady" kicks up a fuss about it, it's just a no win situation. Because if you try to discretely mention that they are, ahem, exposed, they will be offended and insinuate that you're a pervert for looking. Delicately raise an eyebrow in their direction and you'll hear a muttered, "bitch." If you publicly take them to task for inappropriate wear... Hey! you've just validated their need for attention & they're on top of the world - still probably won't keep them from dropping the f bomb and causing a scene but....

And last week? At the convenience store, a 13/14? year old boy hopped out of the back seat of his car. Stood right by the front door (between my vehicle and his) with his father inside the car.  Yes folks, dad was right there. Raised his shirt and adjusted his jeans, which were at least 3 sizes too big, DOWNWARD. The waist band curved under his buttocks, and the front, rested on top of (how to express this delicately)...his little mound? He vigorously cinched his belt, tightening it to hold the whole show in place.

Oh my.

Doesn't that HURT??

I got out. Walked into the store.

I. Did. Not. Say. A. Word.

Do Your Daily Exercise

In spite of my weight - I do like to exercise.

Really.

Stop laughing.

I love to swim. Don't mind doing water aerobics, working out on weights. Am about ready to get back on a bike. Knee is flexible enough again so just need more power/strength. And one of these days I'll have lost enough weight and have the balance necessary to ride a horse again. And if gardening counts, well, count me in!

But hiking? Eh...if it's to something interesting (like a sale), a scenic vista, or better yet!!! A hot springs!!!! I'm all over it. Walking to be walking? Ummm, not so much.

There in lies a dilemma. Went for a vacation. Lovely!!! First time in years I've done/gone somewhere just for myself. Visiting friends & relatives, chatting, eating, shopping & just hanging out. No schedule, no pressure, no service projects, just play.

Big smile!

However, I've worked so hard to get my knee/leg back in shape that I do try to get my daily exercise, but not a pool in sight. So, bless my sister's soul, she includes me on her daily walks. Okay. I can be a good sport. After all there's good company and this is Alaska. It's so green and beautiful. But I'm a master at going for a little bit then stopping to check out the scenery, view a flower up close, take a picture of a duck...

The sister is no dummy.

It only takes a day or two of this and she catches on. Second nite I hear her on the phone..."Oh, we'd be delighted to babysit your dog!"

???

Who's this "we" she's talking about. Got a frog in your pocket girl?

The next morning, the grand puppy, McGyver, or whatever her name is, rushes down the stairs into my room and leaps into my arms.

Great. (We're talking about the ultimate cat lady, remember?)

Sweet dog. Really.  All 50, wiggly pounds of her.

Time to explore.

So we load her up, get our morning chai, make a few stops and then it's time for a walk.

I get her leash and we're off. The sun is shining, there is a fresh breeze blowing and it's a beautiful 65 degree day. We leave the parking lot at a brisk pace...and accelerate.

Umm, McGyver?

"She doesn't heel, does she?"

"No, she's just a pup."

"Oh.  Rather enthusiastic, eh?"

The sister smiles, "Um hmm!"

Fine.

It doesn't take long for me to realize that this is Alaska! So of course I'd end up being attached to an animal that was part moose sled dog. For the love! I valiantly hang on. pant, pant, pant  And I wonder, does it have another sped?

Other than run?

McGyver, happy little thing (with the foot long tongue), finally went home.

Not to worry tho. Millie took her place the next day.


I mean, who goes on vacation and loses weight?

Why?

The Youngest bounces into the kitchen this morning.

A young, 17 year old man of rare and frequent enthusiasms.

He's got it ALL FIGURED OUT!

He's taking the money he makes from working in the hay fields this summer and for $3000 he's going to get his pilot's license, and next summer?

He's going to be a....(wait for it)





Crop Duster!!!!!!

I know I rolled my eyes...because he started earnestly explaining his theory.

I object. One word. "Danger."

"Phfft!" He exclaims.

"Cost..."

"Oh no....blah, blah, blah" he runs on.

"Experience?"

But he was off and running. He had a plan....again.

Oh me. I'm getting too old for this. And I hate to "stomp" on his dreams. But most of them are designed to give Mom a heart attack. Can he just grow up, make it to 21 without any more breaks, explosions, burns, surgeries, near death drops from silo's, sled rides into sewer systems and? (We don't even want to talk about out houses & rocks...)

But just in case, I've already found my reality check.

http://www.airliners.net/aviation-articles/read.main?id=144

I know - killjoy.

Me Thinks Thou Dost Protest Too Much

Some things just are....

What you see is what you get...

Familiar sayings. But still, feel free to discuss stuff. It seldom hurts to kick the tires, turn things around and look at them from another angle. That old thing about "an unexamined life..." y'know? You have my permission. I know you were waiting for that!

HOWEVER, sometimes a pile of sheet is still a pile of sheet. Doesn't matter if you send it to a lab for analysis, it is what it is. Disclaimer: I know people can compost it ... as a matter of fact Farm Boy works on a process to turn it into methane. (But a rather involved, messy & expensive procedure that your average person doesn't have access to.)

So - while I don't want to intrude on your reality, and if you want to vent, please, be my guest...and sometimes it helps to just laugh about the things/people we can not change, but the saccharin massage? The "if I deny reality long enuf,"  maybe it will go away? Spare me. Please.

I wholly encourage the power of positive thinking, but it's easier to change your life if you step out of fairy tale land. Mayhaps the following advise:




Capeesh?

I'm Bad

ReplyTo: CustomerService@salliemae.com

Subject: Your Sallie Mae statement is ready to view

Arrghh!

The #1 Daughter has been in South Africa for two months. She's just finished her training for the Peace Corps and now has moved to her permanent village in Zulu land where she will utilize her college degree in Public Health and it's emphasis on Epidemiology (study of infectious diseases.)

She will be there for the next two years and I'm left in charge of her banking account and making sure $$$ are transferred to take care of her concerns here in the States. One of which was paying off her student loan. I did so. Sent them a cashier check from her account which she has put me on as a co-signer. I called Sallie Mae @ the start of March, got the payoff and requested information on interest for the few days the check would be in transit. Thought we had it covered. The Daughter gets an email today w/her new statement. She owes 82 cents.  ????

I call them.  When all is said and done here's the email I just sent her:


Dear Daughter:

Okay, gotta love bureaucrats...not. Sent cashiers check in March, specifically asked for payoff w/grace from postal stamp date or additional interest for mail time whichever they preferred, just tell me what I need to send ... some companies use the posted date as their cutoff, but no. Not Sallie Mae. And the amount I sent ended up not being correct. Anyway instead of paying off 2 of the 3 loans completely they left a little principal on each loan for the few days lag time between when I sent it and when they posted it. Total was about .82. ???? Seriously? So I call and tell my main man Jeremy, I'm going to use my visa cash card to pay it. Today. Instead he wanted to bill me? Huh? "No, let's just do it now, save you postage and me trying to guess how much interest I'm going to have to pay this time and still not get the thing totally paid off." "Well... okay," he says. Doesn't seem to want to do it. He tells me he'll have to charge a minimum of $1 to the card so I'll end up overpaying .18.

Really?

I cheerfully answer, "That's fine. It's a check card which means it's going to cost Sallie Mae .85 cents to process it, you (Sallie Mae) will get .15. So, in the ultimate nod to stupidity, when we're done with all this nonsence we will have wasted your time and I'll have had the satisfaction of doing it. So at this point I'm thinking win-win!"

"Ahhh," he says. Pause. "Is there anything else we can do for you today?"  Me, "No, I'm good."

Anyway a statement is supposed to show up within 30 days in the mail showing that the loan is paid - free & clear and you should be getting an email. Oh, by the way, to save confusion I used your name. He thinks you're a bitch.

Love you.  Bye

Why Would I Lie?

Love the English language. Just wish I had a better command of it...

Last month there was an article from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch talking about a guy who had claimed he was a decorated war hero.

Never happened. So they were trying to pass a law making it illegal to claim you had received awards from the armed services when you actually had not. I understand the concept but that First Amendment is kind of a sticky little thing. You can get into trouble for liable - knowingly saying untrue things about others and defaming their character but lies? I guess everyone has their own perspective, a better question might be what is truth? Following is an excerpt from the article:

The most pathetic lies are protected by the First Amendment.  The First Amendment to the constitution reads, in part, "Congress shall make no law...abridging the freedom of speech."


The notion that anyone falsely would claim to have been decorated is despicable, contemptible, infuriating, outrageous and other adjectives precluded by space and taste.

Okay, I just don't want to deal w/the guy who's lying about being a decorated war hero.
What I want to talk about is that last sentence.

Is that not a great piece of writing? And I love the... other adjectives precluded by space and taste.

How often have you listened to people or read things that absolutely precluded any pretensions to taste, or even demonstrated the ability to utilize the English language proficiently?  (Disclaimer: Can I stomp around in the mosh pit with the best of them?  Well...unfortunately yes.) But I also have a great appreciation for being able to prove oneself semi-literate or at least pretend you have access to a dictionary. Go read some of Winston Churchill's stuff. Especially some of his one line retorts.  My personal favorite is one fired at Lady Astor, (neither of whom apparently cared for the other) She: "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your tea!" To which Winston Churchill replied, "Madame, if you were my wife, I would drink it."

What a fabulous come back! Today you seldom hear an outrageous compliment or an extraordinary put down. Most of the time someones displeasure is just expressed with a "f*** you."

Really?  That's it? Guess one doesn't have to worry about a continuing dialog or discussion to resolve any issues. Everyone just walks away with the f-bomb hanging in the air.

So to the guy lying about his war medals. Shame on you. Further discussion of your integrity is indeed prohibited by space and taste. There's a whole movie about "Why would I lie?" It's kinda of funny on an entertainment level...in real life, no.

We have freedom of speech in this country. We have and enjoy many more freedoms that people across the world can only dream about. I wish we all appreciated that fact more.