Beauty & the Beast

Sometimes life is all about focus. What we choose to deal with/focus on determines our attitude. That attitude helps determine our quality of life.

Yesterday I just about died when a snotty 20 something trucker decided his right to exceed the speed limit overrode any concerns for my safety. It's a considerably longer story but the end analysis is (and this is a true "hat's off to road rage" moment)... if I'd had a handgun in the glove compartment you might be reading about me in the newspaper today, but (thankfully) I didn't - so you won't.

However, shortly after that, while running an errand I stopped by a small hardware store that has operated in our area for years and years. I cruised in with minutes to spare before their closing time. Was greeted with a smile, a polite 17 year old salesman, and a watchful boss. I spent a pleasant five minutes as the young man guided me through the aisles, found my part for the flashlight, offered to remove the shattered bulb, cleaned everything up, replaced the bulb and packed up the spare for me. All the while being charmingly conversant, helpful and when I commented on some of their displays and mentioned that they'd be great stocking stuffers - with the ease of a born salesman he pointed out other items that I might be interested in as he walked me to the door. Granted, my young man was probably the owners son but for the $3.57 spent I got the full meal deal. I was impressed by him. I was a very happy customer. I'll be back for those stocking stuffers.

Two young men.  Both doing their "jobs." Night and day. I could focus on my desire to mangle the first one's stiff middle finger or let it go and let my heart swell with hope for tomorrow because of a 17 year old boy.

I choose the latter.
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Bumper Snicker

         "I love you more today than yesterday." 

 

                                          "Seriously...

                       Yesterday you annoyed the hell out of me."
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I'm In Love

Ummmmm ....

The container from Costco is labeled: McCormick Gourmet Collection, Table Grind, Malabar Black Pepper. Vine Ripened on India's Tropical Malabar Coast, these peppercorns have a clean, bold bite and fruity aroma that complement savory and sweet foods.

What?

You know, I've bought pepper and other spices in bulk from Costco for a long time. Never had any complaints about them. They're functional and cost effective. And other than identifying what's in the jar, can, etc. I seldom read the entire label.

This time though, I looked at the label and wondered "what's Malabar?" Humph. Opened it, looked at it, tasted it. Yup, looks and tastes like pepper and then the smell....

Oh my heavens. What is that glorious smell. It was rich, it was fruity, it was - it's hard to describe the complex delight that hit my olfactory senses, it was....my!

Pepper?

Yup, pepper. Not just any pepper mind you. Malabar Black Pepper or Pimienta Negra Malabar Molido De Mesa, if you will.

Excuse me if I don't get up when you come in. I'll  be a little busy sniffing my pepper. I think it's  going to be my new favorite hobby.
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Rudolph, Is That You?

Wednesday nite. Mutual. I'm up @ the Ward Bldg. doing geneology. The Teachers & Priests are playing Capture the Flag. My son wants to borrow the church keys so he can open the utility areas so they can hide.   ?????    Ummm, no. See son, they are locked for a reason. People on one side, mechanical stuff, wiring on the other...both sides safe. (Especially the side that has the: 14-17 year old, I can't remember where I left my brain today, male types...)

15 minutes later. The echo of heavy, running footsteps reverberate through the ceiling. Didn't make it into the utility areas. Noooooo. Instead they're on top of the building. The tall building. The one with the steep chapel. Then a loud thwump & scuffle as they trip followed immediately by all three computers crashing.

BISHOP!!!!  "Please get your young men off the roof."

The poor man gets this look on his face and goes to track down our intrepid teens. Then  thump, thump, thump, the miscreants clomp back to the side to get down. Bishop comes back and reports..."they're okay, nothing happened, they didn't fall or trip or anything..."

????

"Uh, yeah they did. We heard them stumble, plus it appears they took out the satellite wire for the internet."

He gets that look on his face again...Leaves. Clomp, clomp, clomp on the roof again. When he finally reappears he asks, "Everything good here?"

"Yeah, but...I thought it had been made clear to them that the roof wasn't a play place???"

"Yes. We have to keep reminding them though. They forget."
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Cynic

Oh goodness. I just cruised some Mommy Blogs. They are so happy. So full of hope.  So impossibly ...young.

And then there is me ... and my editorials:

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Crab Cakes

My. I have been crabby lately. But the upside is - letting off steam here makes me able to be sooooo much sweeter there. Yes, I'm batting my eyelashes and going all Southern Belle on y'all.

LOL

Kittens. Let's talk about kittens. Is there anything sweeter than a 6 week old kitten???

So we found homes for five of One Ear's babies and are currently keeping two - Blackie & Tippers. (If you look close, you'll find all seven. Blackie has crawled on top of one of his siblings and the only thing you can see is an extra Siamese ear sticking out by Tipper's head.) Have been bringing them inside to play with them and socialize them. They are hilarious to watch. Tipper's has a little size on Blackie. Blackie is kinda like the scrawny street tough and Tippers is the chubby nerd.

I pulled them both up into my lap. Blackie was tormenting Tippers. Finally just sunk his teeth into Tippers ripe, juicy bottom and liked to tear a big ol' hunk out of his hind end. I pulled Blackie off and Tippers immediately turned to face him, reversed until his vulnerable backside was firmly snugged down in the crook of my arm, opened his mouth and CHOMPED down on Blackie's tail.

Never mind the saying about "revenge being a dish best served cold."  Immediate gratification appears to be the watch word phrase of the day!
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Really?

During scripture reading this morning I highlighted 1 Thessalonians 5:15 which says: 

"See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men."

Okay, quit laughing. Obviously I spend a fair amount of time thinking about letting the air out of peoples tires, BUT I DON'T DO IT. Still I get no points, in my book,  because I figure if I were a really good person the thought wouldn't cross my mind...sigh.

Unfortunately it does. But! I usually get over myself on the way to getting even. Hopefully Heavenly Father appreciates (cringe) my restraint. Still, I've spent some time this week shaking my head at people and their antics so... why stop now?

Last night attended a seminar by a local gal named Kathy James. She is always very informative and I look forward to learning about the subjects she presents.

There were ~ 80 people in attendance. She wasn't quite set up and was asking for help to complete small tasks so we could get under way. You've seen in a large group, I'm sure, when a request is made, people kinda look at each other and it takes a few seconds for someone to pop up and volunteer. That's normal. There was a small space of time so I got up to work on the first task and one or two other people started on others. No big deal.

It was a very nice program and at its conclusion she requested additional help with cleanup,  so I put my supplies and papers in a pile and went to do my part. One of those many hands make light work.

Now in every group you've always got the folks who have other obligations and they hit the door running. Too hip, gotta go. I understand. Totally. I, myself, have nothing better to do with my time than pick up after you so - why not?

However, what really chapped my hide was when I went back to my belongings.....the handout that I had carefully place underneath/with, the rest of my stuff was gone. No, it hadn't fluttered to the floor or been accidently misplaced. It was gone. Here we were in a throng of good, church going women and someone has sticky fingers.

Really?  

Yes, I know there weren't any more handouts left on the table but the paper you stole borrowed was so obviously already taken ....

Excuse me while I take a moment to hyperventilate...

ARGGGH!  What's up with some people?  Okay, fume, rant, rave.

I'm thru now.

Really.

Except...

Hey.  You. Yeh. I'm talk to you. The one who has my orignial handout?  

 Ummm, you wouldn't know where my 9x13 pan from the last church function is??????????
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Musings From the Blueberry Patch

Pick up the newspaper. Turn on the radio. Every day, another senseless death. There is a collective sigh. Especially when it is a child. Who among us expects a son or daughter to predecease us? And yet, stillbirths, illness/disease, accident, or that time honored favorite - the tragic teenage mindset that "it could never happen to me!" are replayed again and again. And then the tears, the pain, the loss. The mind numbing emptiness.

When one has a grasp of the Plan of Salvation it helps, but still, in the dark of the night, hope & faith sometimes seem a poor substitute for a warm child in your arms. I know that sounds...what? Maybe like I've missed the whole point of the gospel? I haven't. Truly. But for those who have wrapped their arms around a little body and promised that you'd never let him go. That you'd protect him, that you'd...

Oh.

It can just take time.

Time - and prayer will bring comfort if you allow it.

You learn that life goes on...even if you think you can't bear for it to go on. It does.

 Not the way you expected or planned perhaps.

 But life does go on.
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I'll Just Be Over Here - In My Corner

Okay. Cruising the 'net. Waiting for the laundry to get done. Wow. People have issues.

Barack Oboma - Nobel Peace Prize. Ummm, what already? Hope is a wonderful thing, but ask my kids...I'm a little bit more goal orientated. Show me the money. Let me see that "A", then we'll talk about rewards. So, I'm thinking a little premature.  I didn't vote for him, and I know he doesn't want my pity, but I do think people need to give him a break...How anyone could stagger along with the weight of the great black hope on his back I don't know. He is a man. He could be a lovely shade of purple for all that matters and I'd still bet he puts his pants on one leg at a time. We'd be better off focusing on his politics and the integrity (or lack thereof) behind the politics rather than the rest of the minutiae that surrounds him.

But whether Obama, abortion, mommy blogs, Michael Jackson or even sci fi fan gatherings. Boy! You blog something, someone else finds it and doesn't agree and the gloves come off! All kinds of nasty cat fights out there. It's fine to disagree and obviously I tend to be a bit heavy handed with the sarcasm but do we have to be vulgar or crude about it??? And really if a pro lifer decides to comment on the blog of a woman's rights type (my life, my body etc.)....do you think there is anything one could say that would bridge the gap between the two? Abortion proponents say it's all about them, their body, their choice....I agree. Your life, your body, your choice until you create another person. Then they have a right to be heard too. Your choice came into play before you conceived....abstinence, birth control etc. My opinion but, just because I happen to be right, doesn't mean they agree. The only thing we're going to agree on is that we're going to disagree.


Today, in particular, I wandered across the blog of someone who had been to a sci fi conference and the more charitable comments about the attendees were that they were fat, lazy, white women and it got a lot worse from there. Even posted pictures on her site of people that were most...unflattering. Wow! The enraged sci fi folks are firing back. Both sides are pretty much out of control. Yikes! They're not content to verbally spar in cyberspace, they want a face to face, NOW!


And people wonder how the holocast happened....


Woof!


I never cease to be amazed by people. And I'm taking a moment to reassess the way I do things. Yes, I can improve. I need to be kinder. I need to have more charity. To find more opportunities to serve. In the same breath, I don't want to be a push over, or enable someone else's poor behavior. I'm a big fan of the saying about teaching people to fish so they can eat for a life time and do not want to be one of those guilty of encouraging a welfare state as they hand out fish to the needy on a daily basis. 


I've been accused of being too impatient, too abrupt....Undoubtly... Sometimes. But then again (and this is why I love my little brother)...one time I was talking about someone who had issues with me and thought I was too hard on people, he said:  "Oh I don't know. You've always been pretty good about firing a warning shot or two over the bow...."


Yes.


Yes I am. You know I was dragging my tail pretty low when Billy told me that. Appreciate him. Probably more than he'll ever know. We all can use a little support now and then.


But meanwhile, I'll just be over here - in my corner. Don't expect me to always keep my mouth shut tho. Like someone famous once said... "Don't worry if you can't do things right. You can always be used as a bad example." You screw up... I may mention it to my kids. Not to be unkind but, if they can learn some of life's hard lessons without having to go there themselves....I'm all over it.


So I'll keep blogging here in blissful anonymity. Talking to myself, keeping my head straight. The daughter was all curious and wanting to find this...hmmm, good luck with that. Not saying there is anything here she couldn't read but this is for me. Working on my issues - on a gentler, "kinder" level,  of course.
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The Privileged Few

Roman Polanski....what part of drugged, raped & sodomized do people not understand? 13 years old yet. He admitted it. Plea bargained and took off before sentencing because he thought a cranky judge might try to impose a stiffer penalty than what he & his attorney weaseled.

And Whoopie. "It's not rape rape?"

Ahhhh, c'mon girlfriend. Let's have a couple of minutes of silence for a true, what the ???? moment. Yes, I've heard that many men have fantasies about having sex with very little girls young women. Does this mean you would have volunteered your daughter???

So, let me see if I understand. If one has money, a certain amount of talent, a foreign country that won't extradite, can avoid capture for x amount of time, or simply have the ability to lie like a dog, then all bets are off. You win. You're special. There are no consquences for your actions. Congratulations, you are not one of Leona Helmsley's "little people."

And our victim. She wants the publicity to go away. Wants to get on with her life and has been "compensated" already and is more than willing to forgive and forget. Great. Good for her. I know I'd like it to go away too if I were her. Forgiveness is hers to grant.

But not justice.

Justice should be served. Justice must be served. This isn't OJ and the Civil Court. Polanski was convicted in Criminal Court. You know, we can't catch them all. We don't catch them all. Not by a long shot. But when we do they should line up with the rest of the little miscreants and take their medicine. Regardless of sex, creed, color, religon, political persuasion, sexual perversion or Hollywood connections.
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Rich

Sitting and looking out the window. And you know, in the Disney movie Bambi where the rainstorm starts? It was Bambi, right? Anyway, one big, fat drop of water plops down on the earth, then another, until...

I watched the magnolia tree as the rain hit the leaves one at a time. They are big, thick leaves and the raindrop would land, push the leaf down and it would pop back up like a bungee jumper. Then the tempo of the rain on the roof increased and the leaves began to dance. And in that peculiar way that happens sometimes, rays of sunlight streamed through the tree...It was green and beautiful. Breathtaking really. But I didn't know whether, today, God was sprinkling the earth or crying.

You see, my friend Rich and his wife are getting divorced. When they were young, they had made a covenant to be together, forever. We do stuff like that when we're young. It is all sunshine, light and green leaves dancing in the rain. Then life happens.

Let me make my standard disclaimer. I know Rich isn't a perfect person, but ya gotta love the guy. Has a sense of humor and a way about him that can light up any room. And when he gets obnoxious you just kick him in the shin or point out that he's being a butt head, and while he's usually fairly unrepentant about it he generally stops. Pretty cut and dried. I can deal with his personality.

Kaye. Don't get me wrong. She is a nice person. A decent person. And (like so many of us) when you are doing what Kaye wants, she is a dynamic, happy, charming person. But uhh, when you're not doing what Kaye wants...Woof!! She is a force to be reckoned with.



So there they are. A life, a history, children... But the time has come, as in so many marriages that, they're done. They are through trying. Maybe can't even remember at the moment why they tried in the first place.

I want to pick up the phone and call him. Tell him...what? Is there anything I can add that various relatives, church leaders, and assorted other folks haven't already said. Could I even talk to him without crying, because crying always makes everything better worse, right?

I'm just left with this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. Ugghh. It won't go away. Not today, maybe not for a long time.

He'll be the one to leave. Kaye and the kids will stay. We'll be polite and supportive. Rich will come back occasionally, but probably not often. If we're lucky we'll catch a glimpse and then he'll be off again.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo....don't leave us.

I'm an idiot. Sitting here sobbing. Okay, really, I have abandonment issues.

Rich.

Just so you know... I miss you already.
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