Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Is It Safe to Come Out Now?

Yesterday was a lovely day. Sunshine, moderate temperatures, y'know 75-78 or so. Gentle breeze. Just me, the cats & my garden....oh yeah, and The Youngest. I had recruited him to dig a hole for my new bleeding heart. He then proceeded to dig, chop and hack a hole into the irrigation line, which was quite a bit deeper than the bleeding heart needed to be planted but he'd made a machete type of thing out of an old lawn mower blade and wanted to see if it worked, (sigh) and it just got better from there. But that's another story, I digress...

This morning it starts to rain

Hard.

Temps hover in mid 50's. The van needs fuel. I pull into the 7-11 on G Way. Virtually deserted. Guess no one wants to get wet this morning. Well neither do I. I pull under the canopy at the gas pumps. One car on the other side but no one else around. Think I'll flop right in the middle so I don't get rained on. I put the van in park. (Mind you, I've just stopped, engine is still running.) Another van, driven by a wild eyed 20 something wheels around the side of me and screeches to a stop in front of me, facing me.

Ummm?

She glares, gestures, waves her arms and her mouth is going a hundred miles a minute.

What?

Huh?

I'm a little confused. Does she want me to back up? What side is her gas tank on anyway? And wait. I got here first and there are no less than six service stations on this stretch of road...

So I'm thinking...if your gas tank is on the right side of your vehicle, go park behind the car on the other side of the pumps. They'd be pointed the right direction for you.

But if your gas tank is on the left side of your vehicle, you may get BEHIND me, and I'll pull forward, which is what I would have done anyway if I had seen you pull in after me and we both can share.

I put my van back into drive and pull forward, oh six feet. (Not as far as I would have normally but...you know, we've got to factor in that entitlement thing she appears to have going on.)

She slams her rig into reverse and pulls in behind me with about 3 inches between our bumpers.

Oh. Her gas tank is on the left side....

She stomps into the store while I use my credit card and begin to fuel.

Our little darling comes back out, jerks the hose out and attempts to put the nozzle into her tank.

Oophs.

Too short.

This is beginning to be just toooo much fun.

Should I tell her or do you think she'll figure it out that if she untangles the hose it will reach????

Ahhhhh, atta girl. She's got it.

I finish fueling just after she does, but she's so busy fumbling w/her gas cap that we're both ready to leave at the same time.

I get in and pull out of the parking lot.

She is going to turn the same way but is stopped by oncoming traffic. (Gotta hate it when they have the right of way...)

A minute later I see a van tailgating me. Any closer and she'll have to introduce herself.

Oh wait, never mind. I already know who that is! And, doing the speed limit, down the road we go.
And hey look! A gas station. Oh! Another one.

She puts on her left blinker. And stays behind me.

G-Way remember? Two lanes of traffic each way?

I may be a little slow on the uptake but is she indicating that I should move to the left and get out of her way?

Wow. What a little witch.

NOTE TO THE ME GENERATION:  Older than you, bigger than you, crankier than you.

Don't make me pull this car over.
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