Saturday, May 29, 2010

Queen For The Day

If I were "Queen For The Day," I'd have an agenda. Yes, another one beside the one you suspect I already have....

I would fix the ills of society. A revised version of the gospel (cough) according to ME.

First on the list?

Easy downs.


Yup, easy downs. You know all the skate boarders and gang banger wannabes? Thems boys who have taken the plumbers crack and refined it into an art peepshow? Young men wear the mandatory patterned boxers, y'know - the ones whose front flap has (unfortunately) not been sewn shut and then position their jeans below the butt cheek in back, and while I try not to look, I suspect below the wobbly bits in front. Then they get a good, strong belt and strap the whole contraption to their thighs. Which, in case you flunked anatomy, is wayyyy too far south of the waist to hold anything up.

Watching them walk in that getup is a little like watching the movies of geisha girls shuffling along on their tiny, malformed feet. Really, it's hard to be cool with a gait like that. It looks, as my old paps used to say..."like they've got a stick up..." Yesssss. Let's not finish the rest of that unfortunate saying.

But it appears that is a little too close to the truth. Where did this atrocious trend come from?

Queue up Paul Harvey's  - The Rest of the Story.

Mrs. McKee, an esteemed instructor at Hanford Public Schools, who is a lovely, no nonsense woman nearing retirement age, used to work with and teach inmates in the California prison system. The other day she casually mentioned that fact to her how low can you go challenged classroom and noted that this "fashion statement" started in the prisons with the young latino gang bangers who, being younger and smaller than many of the other inmates, and being unable to prevent themselves from becoming some 6'5" goon's "bride for the day" decided to embrace and flaunt their fate. So they started to wear their pants very loose and low to make for, ahem, quicker and easier access...AKA easy downs.

The next day in Mrs. McKee's class most pants rode noticeable higher.

Queen for the Day says, problem solved, at least...temporarily.

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